The thumbprint clocking in and out represented regimentalism that is pointless, because the nature of her work is anything but regimental anyway. Her work required irregular hours, while the unappreciative management requires her to clock in as regularly as possible, as if afraid that she would steal time off. Ridiculous! It was getting harder and harder to clock in in the mornings. She either place her thumb too hard or too soft on the scanner, and had to rescan repeatedly to ‘pass’. What a way to start each working day! She thought it represented her unbalanced state of mind, of being off the Middle Path of placing her thumb just right – with pressure neither too hard nor too soft. Perhaps the tendency to exert excess pressure reflected the work pressure she felt.
Was her thumbprint morphing gradually into another configuration, or was it just her thinking about work changing? The frustration of failing to pass each scan would infuriate her. The sharp beeping announcing an error scan would peeve her, as if chiding her for being a rebellious employee. She would want to simply walk away, but she could not. It represented being stuck in a job she could not just quit. Once, she became so frustrated that the reverberations of her heart’s accelerated thumping could be felt throbbing at her thumb, which only made proper scanning harder. At least, she imagined this was possible.
That it is was getting harder to pass scans made her wonder if her ‘identity’ at the organisation was changing. She knew for sure though, that she is identifying less and less with the organisation. It was one she had worked in and for for years, which is however getting increasingly estranged with irrational management and policies. She wasn’t sure if she was becoming a system reject, or if it was she who is rejecting the system. Maybe it’s both. But perhaps it’s all psychological – because clocking out is always so much easier. She probably is just as unwilling to clock in, as she is willing to clock out – not just for the day, but for forever, for good – to exit this cyclical Samsara! Or maybe it’s just time to change her job, if not her thoughts about it.
Related Article: (Sequel) http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/06/time-to-clock-out-of-samsara-2
After a long break from work, I am back into the hectic work life. When I am working overtime, I ask myself why am I back into this kind of lifestyle again? Although at times, when I am able to go back on time, I will then think, this job isn’t too bad afterall.
The suffering, imperfection of work life made me realise, it cld be applicable to my return life after life to the samsara, I may not had made the firm aspiration to break from this samsara, thinking it may not be too bad after all & here in this life, here I am again, regretting my previous decisions.
After this life, I really hope to gain entry to Amitabha Buddha’s Pureland.
I wld rather think this is realisation than being interpreted as being fed up with life…
Someone once said that if you love your work, you won’t need to do a single day’s work – because it wouldn’t feel like work!
May we learn to love our work. If it’s really not lovable, may we learn to look for other work! If we’re stuck for some reason at the moment, make we learn to make peace with it!
Yup yup agree …. Thanks for sharing ^^
Amituofo !