The Meaning of Meaning

Zeph doesn’t consider himself a very ‘deep’ person. But he recognises that he contemplates on stuff more than most. While some feel that being asked ‘What is the meaning of life?’ is annoying enough, Zeph asks things like, ‘What is the meaning of “meaning”?’ Often, he doesn’t understand why others don’t see its importance. But this doesn’t make him the aggressor in discussions. It only makes him aware of others’ refusal to understand his point. (Or is it just ignorance?) In asking, he also gets to see his own lack of understanding, which is what prompted him to ask questions, to be bothered by them in the first place. The following is an online chat he (Z) had with Naw (N).

N: You write too vaguely!
Z: What do you mean? Your comment is too vague. Give me an example.
N: An example is that you philosophise abstractly on things of ‘arbitrary’ meaning like life, God, Enlightenment and stuff.
Z: But I don’t find what I write vague. It has a sharpening effect on me. Can you give me a clearer picture of what you mean?
N: There’s the part on finding the meaning of ‘meaning’. What was that? How does it relate to real life?
Z: You don’t find the question meaningful?
N: I don’t.
Z: Why?
N: What’s it got to do with me? Meaning IS meaning! Why split hairs?
Z: You mean you know the meaning of ‘meaning’? Such that it needn’t be further looked into?
N: I believe so.
Z: I have not realised the meaning of ‘meaning’. Can you share?
N: Meaning IS meaning! That’s it!
Z: Can you be more specific? Wouldn’t that make ‘life’ mean nothing more than ‘life’?
N: That IS specific! What more do you want?
Z: You think too vaguely!

How can two people be so sure that each is more sure than the other? Who is right and who is wrong? Or are there different rights and wrongs for different people as long as we fail to see the same truth in the same way? As a saying goes, ‘There are usually three sides to every story – yours, mine and the truth.’ We all fall short of the direct perception of truth because we all see the world through shades of ignorance and bias, tinted to different degrees. Disagreements between most of us occur when we fail to see through each other’s shades. Spiritual cultivation is a matter of removing these shades, and to help others do the same.

Only one who has removed his shades can see how dark his and others’ shades really were and are. Only he can share the truth that he sees directly. Only he can teach about the world as seen without shades. Only he can teach most of us how to remove these shades once and for all. We call him the Buddha, the Awakened One, the fully enlightened one, the bearer of perfect compassion and wisdom, who is so kind as to tell us about the pain of seeing through the shades, about what causes it, the shades right before us on our noses, the bliss of ‘shadelessness’ and the way to shadowless light of truth! (The Four Noble Truths: suffering, cause of suffering, end of suffering and the path to the end of suffering.) Zeph doesn’t wear shades. He doesn’t see the need to shield his eyes from the world or its true colours. It’s seldom too bright – just don’t stare at the sun! If the brightness of the sun represents the total truth, he suspects he’s not ready for it yet. Maybe that’s why he has the invisible shades of ignorance on – undetected… even by himself.

Next Tale: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/01/adventures-zeph-tales-22 
Previous Tale: http://moonpointer.com/new/2008/11/adventures-zeph-tales-20

Amorous feelings are overrated.
As if they are ”all or nothing” for some.
Why must your love interest be your lover?
Why can”t you try to be good friends?

Why can”t you just be buddies
especially if you already were?
Why can”t you settle for anything less
than being someone”s ”exclusive” one?

Why must there be bitterness when rejected?
Why can”t there be more understanding instead?
Why must there be tension thereafter?
Why not be more open now that it”s ”over”?

You know your love is too worldly
when it easily toggles to become hate,
when failure to be attached leads to aversion,
when your beloved one becomes your loathed one.

In the backdrop story of the movie ‘Cape No. 7′ set in the post WWII era, a Japanese man leaves the Taiwanese girl he loves on her shores. So painful was the departure that he didn’t even have the courage to wave goodbye to her at the harbour… even though he saw her looking out for him anxiously. He supposedly had to leave because the colonial rule of Japan had ended. On the long and cold voyage away from her, he pens seven love letters to her, which for some reason he never sent. They were discovered 60 years later by his daughter after his demise, who tried to mail them to their addressee. What I don’t understand is this – Why did he not send the letters if she meant so much? Why did he choose to nurse 60 years of regrets? Why did he let her down for so long? Is it out of love? Even if so, there should be proper closure instead of suspended emotions. Why should his great love be impeded by great distance? Couldn’t he had bridged the distance? Couldn’t he return some time later, if he was forced to leave then? Did he die with 60 years’ worth of regrets? Was it worth it? He got married (as he had a daughter) – but did he settle for anyone less significant? If not, why did he not destroy the letters?

What did he have to lose by sending the letters? Was it such that he had to set her ‘free’ totally without even a proper farewell? Is that love or cruelty? What kind of cowardly love is this that does not really try to succumb the odds between, that gives up so easily due to changing circumstances? I read the letters translated into Chinese again, after seeing the movie. As one who writes and reads quite a bit, I have to admit that the letters are essentially flowery and foolish. Sounds harsh, but that’s how they are in essence. They ask for forgiveness, but were never sent. They speak of love, but were never delivered. They seem beautiful and romantic at first, narrated to a touching soundtrack… but they are unconveyed and thus pointless confessions. This man’s burden of regrets was passed on to the next generation when the letters fell into the hands of a young couple, who struggled to find the addressee. They did not want to regret not being able to find the girl (now an old woman) the letters were intended for. However, if the writer never sent them for 60 years, why should anyone else deliver them for him? How would this old woman see him finally? As the one who truly loved her? Or as the heartless one who never expressed his feelings in time, who never acted upon them?

Here is a paradox – Life is too short not to express love, though life is also too short to create attachment. But it is possible to love on and on, with attachment that reduces over time, that sets the beloved free. This is true love. Even the Buddha loved Yashodhara (his wife when he was Prince Siddhartha) after his enlightenment, albeit in a spiritually transformed way. He guided her to enlightenment. Lovely! I never really understood why people shy from communicating their honest feelings – especially positive ones. There is nothing to lose – just useless pride. If she mattered so much to him, he should have told her so. If he did not tell her so, she must have not mattered that much? Void of a proper farewell and apology for 60 years, what kind of love is this? The old woman might as well forget about him, and not stir up past regrets of having yearned to be with him. He obviously felt that they were not meant to be. But he also obviously didn’t try hard enough to be with her to decide this is so. He didn’t even send a single letter. Maybe he should had burnt the letters… for the good of all.

Why regret your regrets?
Dissolve them by doing what is ‘appropriate’.
If ‘that’ is inappropriate, dissolve them still -
because that would be only appropriate thing left to do.

- Stonepeace

Related Articles:
The Rainbow Between Rain & Shine
http://moonpointer.com/new/2008/12/rainbow-between-rain-shine
Equanimity Beyond Ups & Downs
http://moonpointer.com/new/2008/12/equanimity-ups-downs

A friend texted me a question – ‘How to have compassion for terrorists?’ He was asking about the recent Mumbai siege, which killed about 120. My answer would be this – ‘We can nurture compassion for terrorists by realising that they had created immense negative karma (which is likely to bear fruit as much suffering) due to having acted upon great hatred based upon deep delusion.’ As long as we remember that no one would want suffering for oneself, we will remember that all who bring suffering upon others are really deluded about the workings of karma, that they too need our compassion to help them realise this.

Here is a relevant dialogue, from p.84 of ‘Emotional Awareness: Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance and Compassion’ by H.H. the Dalai Lama & Paul Ekman, Ph.D. -

Jinpa: (translator) This [an earlier discussion] just reminded His Holiness [the Dalai Lama] of a story that he brings up often in his public talks, the story of one of his colleagues who was held in a… prison [unjustly] for a long time. After many years in prison, he was released, came to India, and then met with His Holiness, and they spent many hours together. During this time, he mentioned to His Holiness that occasionally, he experienced deep fear.

Dalai Lama: He was in the… gulag [labour camp]. A few occasions.
Jinpa: On a few occasions, he experienced a deep sense of fear.
Dalai Lama: Of danger.
Jinpa: His Holiness asked him, “What kind of danger?” And he said, “The danger of losing my compassion… for the… prison guards.” What this suggests is that when a person has that kind of mind-set and perspective and appreciation of the value of compassion, then such a person is never going to willingly embrace any hateful emotion. The basic outlook on life that you have probably makes a big difference in how you respond to emotions.

Ekman: There is a side to the story of the man in the… prison that I think for some can cause a problem: When you hear this story and you might think, I could never be like that. It is as if you were to hear a spectacular violinist playing and think, How could I ever play that well? My question is, Should we all be aiming for the level that this man in the… prison reached? Or is that too high a goal for most of us? If we hear something that is so elevated, will that discourage us from even trying?

Dalai Lama: (translated) Not everyone should try to reach that level [at least not immediately]. This colleague was not a well-known, intense meditator; he was an ordinary monk, not even a highly learned scholar. I told this story to underline that your outlook on these emotions, whether or not you are deeply convinced of their destructive nature, or whether or not you are deeply convinced of the value of positive mental states, will make a difference in how you respond to triggers, how you respond to situations, and so on. The goal is to develop an outlook in which you fully realize the interdependent nature of your well-being with that of others, and of your interests with others’ interests…

Eckman: When I asked [Ven.] Matthieu [Ricard] about it, he said to me, “Very few of us could ever be an Olympian javelin thrower. But all of us, if we practice, can learn to throw the javelin farther.” We will not all be the Dalai Lama. But his example points a direction, and we can all, to differing extents, try to move in that direction. It shows us that it is something that humans can do, not that every human should expect to reach the same level [instantly].

Dalai Lama: That is right.
Eckman: But we can all move in that direction.
Dalai Lama: That is right.
Eckman: It is inspirational. But it also marks out a direction for how to lead our lives.
Dalai Lama: That is right.

My Macbook’s power supply unit stopped working suddenly. It didn’t trouble me as much as it made me curious as to why it happened. (I’ll have to buy a new unit tomorrow though… expending time, money and energy) Just when I thought being a Mac convert would give me less software problems, my Macbook finally presented its first problem…. in terms of hard/firmware. Freaky karma expressed through electronics? Why not? Since karma has to be expressed through the very stuff of everyday life.

I later searched the net for Mac users with similar problems. This is a sample of what I found… ‘This is not an uncommon problem. The apple discussion boards are full of people complaining about their MacBook powering off randomly… there are great many people reporting that whatever Apple did to “fix” the problem didn’t work, or caused other side effects.’

Suddenly, the problem seemed less serious… as if everyone out there with the same problem magically helped to dilute its severity. This is a subtle but good example of what Buddhism would call ‘inverted thinking’ – the delusional seeing of reality in reverse; thinking the inverted is real. The truth is, the problem’s prevalence makes it more serious, not any less, because it affects more than just myself, plus I would still need to seek a remedy, even if it’s not an ideal one… as yet. The inverted-thinking is similar to the ‘Hey, we are all going to die anyway, so it’s not really my problem!’ syndrome. If the Buddha-to-be thought likewise, he wouldn’t have sought the path to transcend rebirth!

A toddler nephew is undergoing a strange phase of growing up. Barely a month ago, his baby sister was born. Suddenly, his behaviour became a little incomprehensibly moody and anger-prone… even to himself! He seemed to experience a form of existential anguish that he couldn’t articulate with his limited vocabulary. When asked ‘Are you alright?’, he would reply ‘Okay…’ in an unsure and listless manner. When asked, ‘What’s wrong?’, he says ‘I don’t know!’ – probably to his surprise as much as ours. In the further angst of being unable to express his angst, he bit himself on his arm. I was wondering if this is the time to teach him a ‘new’ word to help him name the elusive inner demon that could be haunting him… jealousy… due to the subtle beginnings of sibling rivalry?

He obviously relished in the arrival of his sister. In this sense, there is no real animosity. Yet, simultaneously, he probably felt displaced in terms of the shift of attention away from him. Come to think of it, jealousy is quite a complex emotion. One that is perhaps too paradoxical for young kids to grasp. In jealousy is the element of attachment, of wanting something, mixed with the element of aversion, of not wanting something else. It’s not just plain greed or hate, but an almost even balance of them. And of course, the duo arises from delusion. How do you explain this to a kid? ‘Welcome to Samsara (again)… welcome to a full experience of the three poisons! It’s okay… I think… Please take it easy! Don’t be too hard on yourself!’

Abhidharmically speaking, greed (tanha) always arises with hatred (lobha), while the couple always arises from delusion (moha). Without moha, there will be neither tanha or lobha. (Moha is the root of the three poisons.) In the case of jealousy, the play of tanha and lobha is more obviously intertwined, seemingly fluctuating more rapidly between themselves. I think it is this quality that makes kids confused as to what they are really experiencing. The truth is, most feelings, be they pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, are as the Buddha described, like effervescent bubbles – impermanent and insubstantial, easily formed, but also easily popped and replaced with new ones. Cling to fleeting feelings and you will suffer. Just watch to know and see their transient nature and one regains composure. I still don’t know how to tell that to the kid. Looks like the usual reasoning, bargaining and coaxing will have to do for now.

Just finished teaching the last lesson of a series of four weekly classes on the Heart Sutra. This last lesson began an hour earlier at 6.30pm, and ended at 9.30pm. Last week, I had to request the class to grant me another extra hour for this lesson, so as to better pace it, to give a final summary and to tie up any loose ends. I was a little worried about the possibility of running out of stamina or voice during the three-hour non-stop teaching. But surprisingly, it went much smoother than expected, though the delivery can still be improved (of course). In fact, this lesson felt more fluent than many previous Dharma lessons I conducted.

How is this so? I have only one possible explanation for this. In the course of preparing for this last lesson, I had immersed my mind into the Prajna Paramita (perfection of wisdom) teachings, the commentaries of which keep emphasising on the importance of abiding neither in forms (or any of the other four aggregates – feelings, perceptions, mental formations and consciousness) nor emptiness (of permanence and ‘self’). The Sutra also speaks of ‘non-attainment’ or non-attachment to having anything to achieve spiritually.

While delivering the lesson on these very subjects, my mind correspondingly dwelled less than usual on the aggregates or emptiness, or on the aim of ‘attaining’ the end of the lesson in any special way. With little tension thus, the lesson went smooth. There was little exhaustion too, though I spoke quite fast (as usual). It’s interesting that in the process of preparing and sharing on the Heart Sutra, this very preparing and sharing became part of how I practised the spirit of its teachings. When the class ended, there was little sense of ‘attainment’ of any goal, though the general feedback was more positive than many past lessons. There was no inner echo of ‘Yes! Mission accomplished!’ There was an equanimous joy instead.

Comparing this ‘ordinary mind’ (ping2 chang2 xin1) with the seemingly more ‘substantial’ sense of relief and achievement (due to attachment to results?) after having finished sharing a shorter series on the Heart Sutra a few years ago, there is some spiritual growth. Phew! As with the repeated sharing of any sutras, I grew in learning from the sutra too, from further internalising the Dharma. I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn and share the Dharma. Thank you, those who were interested enough to sign up for the course. This would not have been possible without your support. (I hope the 200+ slides plus 60+ pages of notes were not overwhelming.) ‘Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha!’ (Coming up tomorrow, a full day Pure Land retreat… Amituofo!)

Jon: As an artist, I wonder is artists are necessarily self-cherishing by nature? Is there a difference between being selfish and being driven in the creation of art?

Me: Artists need not be self-cherishing (as in being self-centred). In fact, the true artist lets go of ego, which allows him or her to create the best and most spiritual (selfless) art – that can benefit the most. To be selfish is to see the whole world and one’s works as centering around one’s self or from oneself, for solely one’s personal benefit.

It is possible to be driven spiritually without being selfish, if one’s motivation is to create art to bring compassion to others, to share wisdom with others. This drive is called Bodhicitta – the aspiration to seek enlightenment while doing one’s best to lead others to enlightenment.

During last evening’s movie screening (of the film ‘Angulimala’) cum Dharma discussion for NUS Buddhist Society’s Dharma camp (at Shuang Lin Monastery), a participant asked something along this line –  ’If Batman keeps arresting Joker, keeping him in Arkham Asylum, while he keeps getting away to harm others, shouldn’t Batman just kill him once and for all?’ Killing should be a last resort – only when it can save many in one desperate moment with no other alternatives.

I answered, ‘You might kill a person, but you can’t kill his delusion or non-repentance.’ The death sentence is not the solution; reformation is. Beneath that diabolical grin, there is Buddha-nature waiting to be found. Folks who don’t believe in rebirth will think they have successfully snubbed out evil by execution, but they have probably merely deferred its recurrence in time, in another life. Many would think Batman is just as criminally insane as Joker, for letting him ‘off’ alive after nabbing him, but the gritty caped crusader sticks by his principle of non-killing firmly. That’s partly what makes him the hero, instead of another villain.

Related Articles:
Killing Capital Punishment
http://moonpointer.com/index.php?itemid=515 
Paradox of Secret Identity
http://moonpointer.com/index.php?itemid=2343

If you position yourself such
that I cannot share my advice with you,
it is not so much the end of my compassion for you,
but an end of your compassion for yourself.

If I position myself such
that you cannot share your advice with me,
it is not so much the end of your wisdom for me,
but an end of my wisdom for myself.

I would dread the day when all around me
would only agree with me,
as if I’m thoroughly enlightened.

But what do they really know anyway,
if they are still unenlightened?
I would dread it when there are no opposing forces
to urge me to be more enlightened.

I would dread the day when all around me
would only disagree with me,
as if I’m thoroughly unenlightened.

But what do they really know anyway,
if they are also unenlightened?
I would dread it when there are no supporting forces
to urge me to be more enlightened.

Feng: Shi’an, is this change of things what you wanted? 
Shi’an: Yes and no… as with many things in life.
Feng: Is that good or bad?
Shi’an: Dunno… as with many things in life.

I’m looking for someone to use the words below as lyrics for a song…
The consolation part should sound sad.
The congratulation part should sound happy.
The chorus should sound calm.

Just Like That

Man loses horse.
Friends console him. 
He says,
“I don’t know whether this is good or bad -
it is just like that.”

Horse returns with a wild horse.
Friends congratulate him.
He says, 
“I don’t know whether this is good or bad - 
it is just like that.”

Man’s son breaks leg while training horse.
Friends console him.
He says, 
“I don’t know whether this is good or bad - 
it is just like that.”

War breaks out and all able young have to fight.
Friends congratulate him.
He says, 
“I don’t know whether this is good or bad - 
it is just like that.”

After sunshine comes rain;
after rain comes sunshine.
Neither good nor bad -
things are just like that.

The below email dialogue with a fellow reader is about the ethics of neutering cats to prevent the multiplication of strays, which might lead to their culling by animal control authorities. She is for the neutering of cats, but was posed some tricky questions by other Buddhists. (She keeps two vegan cats, one a stray and the other rescued from the pound.)

Q: Doesn’t sterilising (neutering) cats create negative karma?

A: No – if the intention is not to harm but to save them. Karma is created by our intentions – negative karma by negative intentions; positive karma by positive intentions. It is worth noting that even a household cat might become a stray if it runs away or gets lost. If a cat-owner has no intention or ability to care for potential offsprings of his or her cat, neutering should be considered.

Q: If the surgery causes pain, doesn’t this create negative karma?

A: The pain in neutering surgery is taken care of by anesthetics, while the pain during recovery is short-lived and incidental, for the cats’ own safety in future (from being caught and culled as troublesome strays.)

Q: If cats don’t wish to be castrated, doesn’t this create negative karma?

A: Indeed, no animal would want to be castrated. But more so do they not want to be culled due to not being castrated.

Q: Wouldn’t neutering cats create the karma of having no offsprings of our own?

A: No, since what created is the karma to save. One creates the karmic potential to be saved from being killed instead. If one neuters another with the gleefully evil intention to prevent the next generation from being born, so as to cause suffering somehow (which is different from the good intention of preventing culling), one would then create the karmic potential to not have offsprings.

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In the movie ‘Cape No. 7′, the female protagonist, who was in charge of organising an outdoor concert was feeling down from love blues on a rainy day. She indirectly articulated her woes via stating the uncertainty of whether it would still rain the next day – on the day of the concert. The truth is, she had to leave the small town she was in… right after the concert. She was fretting the uncertain future of her new relationship formed there. Offering some solace, a singer she was managing said there might be a rainbow instead of rain.

But rainbows do not always manifest after rain, though sunshine always does, just as rain will ensue after sunshine. As such, it is wiser not to hanker after rain, rainbows or sunshine, but to simply make the best of whatever comes. Make hay while the sun shines; water your plants with the rain; appreciate rainbows while they last. I saw the film almost right after giving a lesson on the Heart Sutra, the essence of which is about the wisdom of not having attachment to anything; not even non-attachment. (This is the true meaning of ultimate equanimity.) In the class, I told the below story (from TheDailyEnlightenment.com), which is somewhat related to the above.

Sunny Day Rainy Day

Here is a famous Zen story retold with a twist in the ‘tail’ :

 
Part 1 :
The old lady cries when it rains,
as her washerwoman daughter can’t dry the clothes she wash.
The old lady cries when it shines,
as her umbrella-selling daughter can’t sell her umbrellas.

Part 2:
A Zen master comes along and tells her:
Why don’t you rejoice when it rains, for your second daughter?
Why don’t you rejoice when it shines, for your first daughter?
The old lady agrees, now laughing heartily, be it rain or shine.

Part 3:
Another Zen Master comes along again and tells her:
Why aren’t you sad when it rains, for your first daughter?
Why aren’t you sad when it shines, for your second daughter?
Is there really reason to be elated or sad?
To go through emotional highs and lows?
The old lady becomes calm… enlightened in peaceful equanimity.

Related Articles:
Just Like This
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thedailyenlightenment-realisation/message/145
This Too, Will Pass
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thedailyenlightenment-realisation/message/266
Equanimity : Ups & Downs
http://moonpointer.com/new/2008/12/equanimity-ups-downs

It’s probably not the best combo to attend a Heart Sutra lesson and watch a rom-com movie (Cape No. 7) later. I was unable to relate to the story, which would usually stir up feelings of yearning and forlornness. I found myself sitting in the dark cinema, predicting the ending and waiting for it to come. Thank goodness, the ticket price was not all wasted. At least the soundtrack was good. 

Do humans like to complicate love or is love really that complicated? Is communicating one’s feelings really that hard or are feelings really that hard to communicate? Do we like drama or are we already dramatic by nature? One thing for sure is that we make the choices we do and have no one to blame but ourselves. 

If feelings are illusionary and thus empty (of lasting or substantial nature), why are we enjoying its fleeting presence, and not letting go of the suffering it causes (when we become attached to them)? It’s probably not so much because we fancy suffering but because the impermanent nature of things had become an addictive stimulus for us unmindfully. Ups and downs have become so much a way of life for us that we have forgotten how to maintain equanimity.

Love is not dramatic in itself, though we dramatise it. It is humbly the way it is… even the greatest of love. It is a great gift one being can give to another. Worldly love in comparison with the universal love of the Buddhas is pretty ‘amateurish’ and shallow, it is still better than hate… although worldly feelings tend to swing between love and hate! May we love one another without attachment. And may we always maintain equanimity and realise Nirvana swiftly.