Q: Some believe couples are married because ‘they owe each other in their previous lives’, while ‘children are born to either collect or pay parental debts’. Is this true?

A: If the first idea above is absolutely true, it is to pessimistically say that there can never ever be any form of happiness in marriage because marriage is just a debt-repayment process for life that couples were inevitably forced into. But obviously, spouses chose marriage voluntarily (in most cases) – as there was no gun forcing them to be married. Usually, it is those with unhappy marriages who believe that marriage itself is a bad debt, while probably being passively fatalistic about the suffering they endure in their marriages. It’s an excuse to not do anything to ‘revamp’ the relationship for the better, or to not leave it if it’s terrible ‘beyond’ repair. While karma is dynamic, when one becomes unproactive in reshaping it, karmic patterns naturally tend to relatively stagnate.

However, this is not to say the above ‘debt’ idea is totally untrue. There definitely is interplay of karma involved in marriages. But present fresh karma created in the moment plays a big part too; not just past karma from previous lives. It is unwise to blame all marital woes on past lives’ misdeeds, as if it is entirely ‘someone else’s’ fault that you have no real responsibility for, and because some problems are freshly created in this very life – by lack of communication for fostering mutual-understanding for instance. Negative karma is not some force that sentences people to the life imprisonment of hopelessly lousy marriages as individuals usually do consciously choose who to marry and how to live their marriages. Karma’s effects can be changed when they change their thoughts, words and actions.

As a more balanced outlook, marriages are not wholly for the expression of negative karma; just as positive karma can be expressed as marital bliss too, as blessings for both parties. The same would apply for the idea of children being born to collect or pay karmic debts from/to parents. If couples choose not to have children, how can these there be payback or debt-collection? Well, karma can be expressed via various other means eventually, if the karmic connection remains unchanged. Once again, karma is not some force that makes people bound for pregnancy – as couples can mindfully choose not to have any children. Past karma does play a role in deciding what kind of children one has, if one wishes to have children. But more importantly, present karma created can nurture one’s children for the better via good parenting.

One’s marriage partner and children are not always expressions of negative karma; just as they are not always an expression of positive karma. Realistically, for most people, they are expressions of mixed karma (with both the positive and negative) – because most created (and is creating) mixed karma anyway, which makes most not karmically deserving of perfect spouses or offsprings. This is why one’s family members can seem like a ‘curse’ on some days, while a boon on other days. The feelings many have about their families often alternate due to the alternation of the expression of the positive and the negative qualities in them, while how we choose to perceive this decides whether we suffer because of them or not.

It is much more important and practical to focus on how we can create positive karma within our present families to transform them for the better, than to keep harping on any negativity being an inevitable personal karmic debt on the rebound. Doing so is to live a foolish self-fulfilling prophesy, as one would tend to let familial relationships crash and burn, sighing all the way… when one could simply seize the controls to ‘fly’ off to a better destination. Broadly speaking, most forms of relationships we have with most beings have the same open-ended possibilities as the above, offering chances for interactive karmic exchanges – for better or for worse. We always have the power to choose how to relate.

Something funny happened when I was browsing the Buddhist magazines at Borders today. A man came to the same section I was standing at, arriving with a loud burp, followed by an ‘Excuse me’ at a lower volume. Okay…. no problem of course… though burps actually can be stifled instead of let out loud. I didn’t react to the burp. A few seconds later, he gave another loud burp, followed by a similar ‘Excuse me’. I leaned over a little and ‘replied’ in a volume similar to his, ‘Okay.’ Of course it’s still okay to me – but is it okay for him?

Why repeat the same mistake that he already knew could be perceived as discourteous, especially within such a short time gap? Was the first ‘Excuse me’ sincere? If it was, why the need for another ‘Excuse me’ so soon? Were the ‘Excuse me’s’ to excuse his own mistakes or to ask others to be excused with some sense of repentance? Seems less likely to be the latter.

He then started humming the first seven notes of ‘Mary had a little lamb’ – Ma-ry-had-a-lit-tle-lamb’. For fun, I hummed the next six notes at a volume similar to his – ‘lit-tle-lamb-lit-tle-lamb’. What the hell was I doing? Just reflecting his ways a little – for his possible reflection. Maybe I should had faked a burp and asked to be excused too – thrice instead of twice! Who’s more ‘eccentric’? The one who seems eccentric or the one reflecting it for a ‘good’ (and fun) cause, or the ones who don’t do anything at all? I wished I had his email to send these reflections to!

In ‘Marvel Zombies 2′ by Robert Kirkman, it continues the adventures of key Marvel comics’ ‘deceased’ heroes, who have become ‘insatiable’ flesh-eating zombies. Of course, they do not totally lose their mindfulness. If they did, they would be just another typical bunch of mindless zombie ‘clones’ – there would be no interesting stories to tell at all! Here is an interesting dialogue on the nature of their hunger.

Spider-man: It seems like the longer we go without eating, I could be imagining this but… it seems like the pain – the hunger is, well… I think it is starting to fade…
Hulk: (In a later scene) Hulk have to eat! Hulk starving!
Daredevil: No Hulk! You don’t have to eat! We’re cured – we no longer have the hunger! If you just wait – if you work through the pain – it’ll go away! You won’t have to kill anymore!
Hulk: Hulk not wait! Hulk want hunger to go away now! Hulk eat everyone he finds! Hulk not stop until everyone eaten!!

Hunger itself is an aspect of suffering, while it is a root of suffering too when it springs from greed (instead of need). If we keep feeding our cravings by giving what they demand, they will only sustain or grow. Feeding craving is like drinking sea water to quench thirst. It appears to work, but only for so long – or rather, for so short! The truth is, however hungry we might be for certain things or experiences, the hunger does not maintain itself indefinitely – it changes – it rises and falls; it is unsubstantial, even if seemingly unbearable at times.

Spider-man became mindful of the impermanent nature of his hunger (due to his sharp spider sense?) when he had to go without flesh food for quite some time due to scarcity of it. With the other Marvel ‘post-heroes’, they had scoured the known universe for food, and ran out of it… before returning to Earth! Hulk however, being his usual impetuous self, chose not to watch and wean off his hunger patiently. Now, are we more Hulk-like hungry ghosts or meditative Spideys in our daily lives? (In the end, they being essentially heroes after all, the Marvels cure themselves of their hunger.) Some extra literal ‘food for thought’ – if we continually eat animals with mindless greed without any second thoughts, are we not also flesh-devouring ‘zombies’ in a way?

After reading ‘Wolverine: Origins and Endings’ by Daniel Way, it struck me that Wolverine (of the X-Men) needn’t be such an infamously grouchy and angsty guy. The main source of his suffering lies in his constant existential puzzlement about his painful past, of the half forgotten and mostly fragmented ‘former’ life that he led before his loss of memory, of the hazy enemies who tormented him, having caused him to lose his sense of self. He thus sets on the seemingly endless quest to unravel his secret history, violently slashing his way through if ‘necessary’, unfortunately creating more enemies, creating a more unpleasant ‘present and future life’ for himself.

Wolverine’s state of being haunted by his past is so strong that without this fierce attachment per se, readers would lose the identity of his present character! Wolverine lets his past eat into him, when he could simply drop it, walk away and be free. There is no fixed Wolverine to cling to – this is what himself and readers should know. There is no one constant Wolverine of the past, present and future because he changes from moment to moment. This is the truth of non-self, the realisation of which  leads to liberation from suffering! Since the past has already passed, ‘bring’ it to the present – only if there were lessons missed. If not, why hanker after it? Incidentally, a movie based on the origin of Wolverine will be screening later this year.

In ‘Chickens with Plums’ by Marjane Satrapi is this recounted story where Azrael, the angel of death was commanded by God to take the life of a man in India. But the day before, he bumps into him in Jerusalem. Terrified, the man runs to King Solomon to ask that he be sent far away quickly to escape death – by going to India. But the next day, he still bumps into Azrael in India. Puzzled, he told Azrael that he thought he was in Jerusalem. Before he was willing to leave with Azrael, he asked why he looked angry when he saw him yesterday in Jerusalem. Azrael replied that he wasn’t angry; just surprised at how the man could be in India the next day, in such a short time!

The moral of the story is supposed to about the inevitability of death; how it is predestined, inescapable. It’s quite pessimistic I think. Buddhism does not subscribe to belief in God or a fixed harbinger of death (as it is karma that brings death – via many means), while it has many stories of how spiritual practitioners ‘cheat’ death and even hell by changing the course of their karma in time with repentance, realisation of wisdom and/or mindfulness of Buddha.

Certain events in life are only inevitable when we do not change our karma in the nick of time, which would lead the long arms of karma to reach us, in one way or another, when the conditions are ripe… somewhat like how the man’s bid to physically escape death was hopeless, when he should had mustered his spirituality to avert death or seek a better rebirth instead. Because karma is malleable by intentional actions, there is always hope for a better life with the creation of fresh positive karma – even in the hells, challenging as it might be!

As long as you are unenlightened,
you can become [more] enlightened.

- Stonepeace

Quite some simple but ultimate consolation!

Our Buddha-nature, ie. our potential to become Buddhas will always be there,
‘awaiting’ to be actualised till it is fully realised.
The ball is ALWAYS in our court.

In the book ‘The Meaning of Life’ by Terry Eagleton is this passage – “… we are in something like the situation of the narrator of Henry James’ story ‘The Figure in the Carpet’, who is told by a celebrated author he admires that there is a concealed design in his work, one implicit in every image and turn of phrase. But the author dies before the baffled, frantically curious narrator can discover what it is. Perhaps the author was having him on. Or maybe he thought there was such a design in his work, but there wasn’t. Or perhaps the narrator is somehow seeing the design all along without grasping the fact that he has grasped it. Or maybe any design he himself manages to construct will do.”

Often, we intentionally, or even accidentally see patterns in things that were unintended (as in something undesigned specifically) in the first place. Such as how clouds seem to resemble something on the mind – while they will never resemble anything we have not seen before! The clouds themselves intended no meaning, but the mind that sees them concieves meaning. The ‘design’ is self-chosen. This itself is the recurring pattern of seeing patterns… which are only as ‘meaningful’ as we make them out to be… even if in a somewhat deluded way – which might not be genuinely helpful at all in helping us advance towards wisdom that leads to True Happiness. The meaningfulness of something, including life (and death) is self-created and self-contained, and that’s all there is to it practically. As we see so, it affects us so – for better or worse. Life and the universe is open-ended in the infinite forms of meaning you wish to see and focus upon.

The Buddhadharma guides us to see the greatest depths of meaningfulness into the nature of life and death as possible – based on the Bodhicitta aspiration, which is spiritual altruism that leads one and all towards the True Happiness that is supreme enlightenment – Buddhahood. As Sartre would sum up the case of ‘The Figure in the Carpet’ in terms of existentialism, ‘Existence [of things] precedes essence [of meaning in these things]‘. But in the Buddhist perspective, the duo can be cyclic too, such that the conceived and clung essence spurs existence to further evolve in certain (karmically-related) ways. When we are stuck with unskilful ‘essences’ of meaning, we are reborn cyclically into suffering. Giving rise to Bodhicitta is the ultimate and thus most skilful way to break free of this samsaric cycle.

(By the way, I’m not sure if I want to finish reading the library book above – because its index does not list ‘Buddha’ or ‘Buddhism’ at all. In that sense, how comprehensive can the book be on introducing various religious and philosophical outlooks on ‘the meaning of life’ when it misses out on such an influential teaching by such an influential teacher? In the mean time, I have so many more interesting Buddhist books to read! It’s good to open my mind to learn more about other perspectives though, but life is also short… Hmmm…)

Q: I don’t take honey but I bought some candles, before realising they contain honey with wax. Should I use them?

A: Since they were bought by accident, and since there is no way to return the honey, I think it’s okay to use them – or they would be wasted. But it’s good to more mindfully reduce demand for non-vegan items in future. Then again, if possible, maybe the candles should be returned to show a vote of no support for such products? You might already know this, but this website explains why demand for honey harms many bees: http://vegetus.org/honey/honey.htm [Views on veganism (non-usage of animal products) can be seen at http://moonpointer.com/index1.php?itemid=2449]

This might be shocking, but some candles contain beeswax, which is made from the material that bees use to make the hives of bees. As such, usage of beeswax (and honey) is similar to stealing, strictly speaking – because it is taken without permission, while exploiting the bees continually. Beeswax IS part of the homes of bees, while honey IS part of their stored food in their homes. A reason I don’t use candles anymore is because it is hard to tell if some candles contain beeswax.

Q: I use Ikea tealight candles for shrine offerings everyday. Does it contain beeswax?

A: According to Ikea’s website (http://ikea.com.sg/catalog/product_display.asp?art=90108360-5173-11-26-711993875-63419353), it’s vegan, as we can see from the ingredient listing (paraffin, vegetable wax and cotton). That said, it’s best to burn less candles. As long as we remember the significance of offering light, light can still be offered – in less pollutive ways – e.g. using an electric lamp that is turned on and off periodically, with usage of a timer being optional. The offering of light is a reminder to light up and spread the brightness of WISDOM, while the continual offering of many lights in ways less friendly to bees, the environment and human health is ironically not very WISE!

Hem: Should I go for a pilgrimage to ‘Buddha’s India’ or attend a Pure Land retreat? 
Haw: Both are excellent! Why not go for both?
Hem: I would love to, but I have limited annual leave to spare!
Haw: Then you should decide based on your priorities.

Hem: How should I do that?
Haw: Do you prefer to visit places where the Buddha taught, or visit a place (Pure Land) where a Buddha is teaching?
Hem: The first Buddha refers to Shakyamuni Buddha and the second Amitabha Buddha?
Haw: Yes. (Practising well in a Pure Land retreat preps one to be reborn in Pure Land.)

Hem: It’s still hard to decide!
Haw: Yes it can be hard! Visiting places where the Buddha went can be inspiring…
Hem: … and visiting a Buddha in person to learn from him is also inspiring!
Haw: Going on pilgrimage can inspire faith in Shakyamuni Buddha’s teachings on Amitabha Buddha’s Pure Land too! 
Hem: Going on a Pure Land retreat can inspire faith in Shakyamuni Buddha’s other teachings too!

At 2 am of new year’s day as part of a post ‘Spiritual Countdown’ to 2009 celebration program, I helped to lead a chanting session at the largest temple in Singapore. We practised mindfulness of Amitabha Buddha (Amituofo) by reciting his name. For the occasion, I wrote a short aspiration prayer, which was read for all present:

In this new year, may we be mindful of Buddha as much as possible.
May we remind ourselves of the virtues of the Buddha -
his great compassion, his great wisdom.

May we emulate these virtues as much as possible.
May we become more and more like the Buddha.
May we progress towards Buddhahood.

As we aspire to be reborn in Pure Land to learn from the Buddha in our next life,
may we also, by the power of our virtues,
aspire to make this world a Pure Land as much as we can.

During the chanting, I stole a few glances at the towering Buddha image in the hall, where I was seated beneath, facing it right in the centre. To my pleasant surprise, I saw the image smiling in a way I had never seen before… despite having visited the hall numerous time before. The Buddha image was beaming. Nope, not beaming in the sense of radiating beams of light; but beaming as in smiling broadly. This was in great contrast with its more serious countenance, which is what I usually saw. 

What changed? Was it my physical perspective? Was it my spiritual perception? Or both? Was I seeing the Buddha image with more of my Buddha-nature, as a subtle purifying effect of practising mindfulness of Buddha? I hope so. In case you think it’s obviously a personal illusion, another fellow Buddhist also saw the image to be smiling in a way never seen before… while a third Buddhist friend did not see anything out of the ordinary. The third friend was busy helping the activity in another way – so he was not practising mindfulness of Buddha along with us then.

Maybe this is a little similar to the case of the largest outdoor Guanyin Bodhisattva image on Mount Putuo (the sacred mountain dedicated to her). When afar, the image looked displeased to/at me. But the closer I approached, the more kindly she smiled. It was a shocking ‘shift’ of expression, which had a humbling and stress-relieving effect on me. It’s as if this thought ran through my mind – ‘Phew! Here I am, on pilgrimage to Guanyin Pusa’s holy mountain and “she’s” not really mad at me!’

Even if this might be an optical illusion due to the way the Bodhisattva image was designed, this is unlikely to be the case for the Buddha image – because I had walked around it and looked at it from near and far many times before. A nice mystery! Incidentally, from the case of the Guanyin image with ‘changing’ expressions, I was reminded of the truth that some people might seem unfriendly or even downright hostile from afar, but are really cheery and warm-hearted when you become closer to them. Never judge a person by his appearance – and not even from the person’s few initial words or gestures.

Though first impressions tend to last,
they should not be the last. 

- Stonepeace

As an upgrade, I finally bought an iPhone a few weeks ago… after months of consideration, to ascertain that I’m not just another fashionista-tech geek who follows the crowd. I think its very invention is a celebration of ‘Zen-ness’ in design. Yes, the Mac folks are experts of this, which is a reason why I became a Mac convert. Currently, there is simply no other phone that is as minimally sleek in appearance. (And it really is not just a phone; it is so much more… an iPod, an iTouch, a camera, a mini-computer!) I see other phone-makers trying to mimic its style, but they obviously keep missing the concept of ‘Mac minimalism’… with extra bulk, buttons, edges, colours… Sigh… I think I settled for iPhone because I lost hope in the others.

Now, a Zen way of life is not just about aesthetic bareness. It is also about maximal functionality. That’s the wonderful paradox – that which is Zennish looks simple, but it can be ‘simply complex’, while extremely usable. That’s the nature of Zen teachings too. Effectively sharp and shocking – right to the point. The iPhone is also a celebration of open creativity, with a programming platform open to all to create new applications.

Take for instance the application Ocarina, which transforms it into a wind musical instrument! And iStethoscope, which lets you hear your heartbeat via earphones! (Note that some applications are free, while others cost very little.) It’s a mind-opening joy simply to update oneself with what new applications programmers have come up with, whether you buy or use them or not! And I havn’t talked about the accelerometer-based games yet. Thankfully, I’m not much of a gamer! Life is ‘game’ enough. Okay… iPhone is not perfect… lest you think it is. But its shortcomings are forgivable for now – to me at least!

Unrelated Link!
Funny MadTV iPhone Clip 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgZKjJt-TkU

Whether you believe the ‘theory’ of the 100th monkey or not,
it is nevertheless true that together,
we can cause the tipping point (for the betterment of the world),
it is nevertheless true that individually,
we can facilitate the tipping too.
Collective karma IS made up of individual karma. 

The question is…
will you be the another ‘monkey’ who waits too long to change,
or will you be an ‘advanced’ human who joins the (r)evolution?
 

The 100th Monkey:  A Story about Social Change
By Ken Keyes Jr.

The Japanese monkey, Macaca Fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30 years. In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkey liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.

An 18-month-old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too. This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys before the eyes of the scientists. Between 1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more palatable. Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.

Read more

Happy 2009 from Moonpointer.com

I have this love-hate relationship with technology. It offers undeniable convenience and room for creativity. But it can change so fast that it ‘sucks’ too. Ya, no doubt about that. I had been toying with the design of moonpointer.com for years. Just when we got very comfortable with Nucleus, I decided to switch to WordPress. It wasn’t just a sudden decision, but after much consideration. We see we can grow (creative-wise) more effectively with WordPress.

I’m no programmer or web designer. Coding is not poetry to me… yet (WordPress tagline : Code is Poetry). I have no idea how I managed to get so far, tweaking scripts to suit our ‘exquisite’ tastes. I made mistakes and at times we had lost important files, with the website down and help needed. It was not a joyride – with many late nights and migraines. But it turned out not so bad. (I hope it’s so to you too!) There is joy when a particular plug-in works. E.g. when the galleries of photos could be published successfully with animated slideshows.

One incontestable fact is the joy of being able to share Dharma with everyone on the Internet. We do not claim we are Dharma masters, but with what we have learned we try to share, and hopefully, in return, you can share with us as well, via your lively comments!

To some, 2008 is a wretched year due to multiple crises… financial, climatic and terrorist… There’s not much cheer moonpointer.com can give but sincere words with limited wisdom, with which we hope to comfort, encourage and inspire one another towards Nirvana!

On behalf of moonpointer team, ‘Happy 2009!’, and may you and your loved ones be well and happy!

If you are deluded
that the deluded are so,
are you not similar?

- Stonepeace

When you are petty
towards the petty
just because they are petty towards you,
how are you different from them?

When you are angry
towards the angry
just because they are angry towards you,
how are you different from them?

When you are unforgiving
towards the unforgiving
just because they are unforgiving towards you,
how are you different from them?

The nails which are the hardest to cut are those of my two big toes, which tend to grow inwards into the flesh. Because they can be difficult to cut, I tend to cut them less frequently, while I trim all my other nails regularly – on both hands and legs. I usually trim the two toes only when I feel a slight soreness where they are while walking – which is a sign that they have dug into the flesh a little too much. I would use the end of a nail file to pry the nails’ corners out a little for a better grip on them, so as to cut them properly. It’s not as painful or disgusting as it sounds, and there’s no blood… at least not usually!

This is really a symptom of ‘inverted-thinking’ – as the fact that they tend to be ingrowing should mean that I maintain them more frequently; not less out of fretting at the hassle. There is the twisted thinking that ‘Since they’re hard to cut, let there be more major pain first. If not, there’s no reason to go through the minor pains of cutting them.’ This is one of those ‘inconvenient truths’ of life – that we tend to avoid what we dislike; when we often should not procrastinate in facing them, to get them over with… before it leads to worse situations.

Spiritually speaking, in terms of the practice of Right Effort in the Noble Eightfold Path, there are wholesome thoughts we should create, maintain and nurture as soon as possible; just as there are unwholesome thoughts we should not hesitate to sever immediately, and to ensure no new ones arise. This is connected to worldly matters too. For instance, the case of repeated ignoring of the ingrowing toenails is linked to letting unskilful thoughts of laziness fester, which lead to suffering. By the way, ingrowing nails can become really serious. I had a classmate who once came to school with a bandaged toe. It turned out that he had ignored an ingrowing toenail for much too long – till he had to go through some surgery to trim it!