Moonpointer : Buddhist Blog of Everyday Dharma
A Tit for a Tat (119) Tit: Those who should come most to Dharma lessons tend not to come. Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/not-real-either
A Tit for a Tat (118) Tit: Why are some criminals in crime dramas (like C.S.I.) so clumsy? Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/everyone-should-come Feel at Home in Samsara?By Shen Shi'an on 16 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | Your Comment | Tags: Bodhisattva, hell, Pure Land, Samsara
Tit: I don’t feel that I belong! Tit: But aren’t Bodhisattvas supposed to feel at ease in Samsara? Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/like-c-s-i
A Tit for a Tat (116) Tit: I heard of a monk who had been using a set of prayer beads for a long time. Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/feel-at-home-in-samsara Will You Remember?By Shen Shi'an on 16 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | Your Comment | Tags: mindfulness
A Tit for a Tat (115) Tit: Please read it okay? Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/who-is-attached
Less is more To Lend Money or NotBy Shen Shi'an on 15 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | 4 Comments | Tags: friendship, generosity
A Tit for a Tat (114) Tit: Should I lend money to him? Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/will-you-remember Related Article: The Price of Friendship? Why Look at the Time?By Shen Shi'an on 15 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | Your Comment | Tags: perception
A Tit for a Tat (113) Tit: Why look at the time if you don’t know how long to cook this soup? Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/to-lend-money-or-not Your Karma is YoursBy Shen Shi'an on 15 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | Your Comment | Tags: karma, perception
A Tit for a Tat (112) Tit: Yikes! This fruit is too sour for me! Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/why-look-at-the-time Strange Cab Phenomenon?By Shen Shi'an on 15 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | 2 Comments | Tags: perception
A Tit for a Tat (111) Tit: When I’m not looking for a cab, there would be available. But when I’m looking for one, there are few! Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/your-karma-is-yours Why Not Cop Out?By Shen Shi'an on 11 Mar 2010 under Movies/TV | Your Comment | Tags: pride, selfishness, selflessness
In the movie ‘Cop Out’, a cop goes all out to retrieve his robbed valuable baseball card for the sake of cashing it in to foot the bill for his daughter’s $48,000 dream wedding. The card gets accidentally shot through in the end though – in a dangerous shootout. He had, out of pride, wanted to foot the bill in full because his daughter’s step-father, who was quite a jerk, ‘graciously’ offered to pay it all out of assumption that he couldn’t afford it. Due to the accident, the father had to let the step-father pay. Now, wasn’t the struggle much ado about nothing then? Or is it the journey that counted? Well, he risked life and limb. Was it worth it? Some would say it was out of love for his daughter, but it’s actually out of fierce personal pride too. The first is based on selflessness and the latter self-centredness. Surely, his daughter would rather him be alive and present at her wedding than possibly deceased. Okay, the serious stuff said, Cop Out’s actually a comedy and there are hilarious scenes. It’s just a habit of mine to squeeze some Dharma from every film seen! (Viewing of the film was sponsored.) From Asanga to Maitreya, Shantideva to NagarjunaBy zweiya on 11 Mar 2010 under Vegetarianism & Veganism | 2 Comments | Tags: animal welfare, compassion, mindfulness, Vegetarianism & Veganism, wisdom
Talking about compassion, how can we not mention how Acharya Asanga had carefully licked the maggots out of a dog’s wound with his tongue and moved them safely to his freshly sliced thigh flesh? For many of us, we would have chosen to kill the maggots in order to save the dog’s life. Compared to the maggots, a dog’s life seems more precious, but to the maggots, their lives are equally precious, as they, like the dog, like you and me, are afraid to die. And they are only doing what they need to survive. Occasionally we feel compassionately-challenged when we are in situations where there seem to be only one lousy solution – to kill. It is really the survival of the fittest? We want to exercise our compassion but being half-past-six practitioners, we find it hard to actualise it fully. We often ‘see’ things in one dimension, lacking the mindfulness and wisdom to know that there are many sides to what’s happening and the alternatives we have. We tend to choose to sacrifice what we assume is less worthy to save – forgetting to look for skilful means to create win-win situations. And the chilling part is that some of us choose to kill out of convenience, greed, selfishness and/or even laziness. I remember reading a guy’s comment on Acharya Asanga’s story. He felt that Acharya Asanga was crazy and needed a full psychiatric examination. This guy missed the gist of what compassion is about. If he has perfect compassion, would he think it’s a crazy thing to do? I doubt so. Of course, having such a high level of compassion and commitment to practise it does not happen overnight. Many of us would probably take eons of practice to do what Acharya Asanga did. But having said that, we have to start somewhere – to stretch our compassion. Why not now? A quote from Shantideva Bodhhisattva to share:
You might ask what can a mere human being do? Well, you can simply… Eating a sumptuous cake (with milk, eggs and/or cheese…), buying a beautiful leather handbag or even a warm woolen sweater might seem harmless, but the process of you being able to enjoy these does come from tears for fears of suffering animals. Here, I would like to conclude with another Shantideva quote:
Let’s be more Buddha-like… It’s the only way to become Buddhas. Choose compassion. How Vegan is Your Organic Food?By Shen Shi'an on 10 Mar 2010 under Vegetarianism & Veganism | Your Comment | Tags: Bodhisattva, Stonepeace, Vegetarianism & Veganism
Though a large organic farm I visited doesn’t use pesticides, Truly vegan food is always organic, But less insects are killed on the farm… I hope… It is possible though, After some ‘harvested’ some crops for fun personally, The organic is not always vegan indeed.
Two Monks Too DifferentBy jianxie on 10 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | Your Comment | Tags: Anicca, death, humility, pain, sickness
The old abbot of a temple A young disciple of the abbot An Easy Gauge of Your Good & EvilBy Shen Shi'an on 10 Mar 2010 under Odds & Ends | 3 Comments | Tags: gratitude, repentance, Stonepeace
How readily you say ‘Sorry’ How readily you say ‘Thanks’ Though ‘Sorry’ is the opposite of ‘Thanks’, To apologise is to be ashamed of one’s ‘badness’.
The Virtues of Being Humble and Sorry Enough
Ironically, one of the ways to gauge the spiritual greatness of an unenlightened person is not by how often one appears to be great, but by how readily one appears “not so great” – through frank admittance of their imperfections. In other words, the truly great are those who are truly humble. Those who assume themselves to be great are indeed “great” - in arrogance though. We should note that deciding whether someone is humble by appearance is unfair – because one can appear humble, while nursing great arrogance that one appears humble! One can never know how humble one truly is, until we undergo experiences that truly require the actual practice of humility. Such an opportunity would include having made a mistake, thereupon “needing” to offer an open personal apology – despite the fact that one could get away without giving one. If you are to observe carefully, you might be shocked by the number of people around you, who only appear courteously humble, who seldom readily apologise for their mistakes, who simply walk away from their mistakes with no expression of remorse. What is wrong with not being humble? Much indeed. To be humble is to be the opposite of being egoistic. Egocentrism is the antithesis of the realisation and actualisation of the truth of non-self. It is the clinging to one’s unsubstantial and thus illusory “ego”. To practise humility is to “battle” against one’s “ego” - by letting it go. As long as one is not fully enlightened, there is the need to be humble, so as to learn - simply because we are truly not great enough and should not be proud. What’s more, if even the enlightened continually conduct themselves in a humble manner, much more should we. But what about personal dignity? Well, there’s no need to be proud to gain respect. And we can still stand up for the truth firmly without being haughty. It is hypocritical to be “over-humble” though, which becomes patronising. Those who over-apologise might be non-genuine. The direct opposite of being egoistic, it is the other extreme away from the Middle Path of humility. Yes, it is not extreme to be humble – because to be so is to function in sync with the truth that there is no “ego” to be proud about. The truly humble are also highly sensitive in a good way - even for the most minor of mistakes to the tiniest of sentient beings. Even if one were to accidentally frighten an insect, one would naturally feel apologetic. Every misgiving is paid attention to. This is the quality of highly attuned compassion at play. Feeling apologetic, one would be determined to be more mindful of the welfare of others and their feelings, and to never repeat mistakes. Having mentioned much on the value of humility, it is hard to imagine the possibility of anyone being able to advance spiritually in compassion and wisdom, while being proud. Here is my challenge to you, to help you advance spiritually too… Make a list of people you know, whom you still owe an apology. Set resolutions and deadlines to sincerely apologise to every one of them. Dissolve any discovered grudges, and never assume there are no grudges. This is kindness to others and oneself, because it resolves the negative karmic affinities between. Remember – it’s never too late to humbly say sorry. To not realise this, is indeed something sorry. When “Sorry” Seems to be the Hardest Word
Standing in a bus on the way home, it was packed with school kids. When the bus jerked to stop, the boy in front took a step back, accidentally stomping on my foot. He half-turned his head to steal a glance at my reaction, in a somewhat guilty way. About to turn back his head, pretending nothing had happened, I said “Ouch!” – in a deliberate but hushed tone. He quickly uttered “Sorry.” I thanked him with a little appreciative nod. I was pleasantly surprised by my response and his. From my side, there was no spite, and some humour instead. It wasn’t that painful actually! A few years ago I might have tapped his shoulder impatiently to demand an apology. It felt only right to let him be aware that even the smallest of his actions matter, be it accidentally or intentionally causing physical or mental distress to others. It’s also “good for his karma”, in urging him to ”make up” whatever he can before dismissing the incident as insignificant. A lesson out of the classroom for the kid! Do we not tend to trivialise others’ pain while we exaggerate ours? Of course I can’t really blame him – since it’s an “accident”. It’s my fault too for not being mindful enough to move out of his way. Just my personal karma rebounding back - to be received with acceptance, not anger. Likewise, all our unhappiness in life is not really caused by any person, but ourselves. Much of our unhappiness comes from not accepting we cause our unhappiness, while we further cause it with our negative attitude! Too often do we hesitate to say “Sorry” and “Thanks”. Due to our thick pride, “Sorry” seems to be the harder word. It is only after you have tried your best to seek forgiveness from the one you are sorry to, can you truly forgive yourself. Otherwise, you are just letting yourself off the hook too easily! The greatness of one sometimes can be hinted by the littlest of things which he apologises for, in his unwilling inconveniencing of others - even to a child. Because this shows his great sensitivity and concern to the smallest of others’ feelings. How apologetic are you for your misgivings lately? Repentance can often be easily practised in everyday life. Simply apologise instantly to one whose toes you just stepped on! This sure beats confessing your carelessness before your shrine at the end of the day! So what if the other party does not accept your sincere apology? It just means he chose to let your mistake torment him more. That is his own mistake now! May he be well and happy! The Significance of Buddhist Repentance
The above is perhaps the simplest but most widely practised verse of repentance. The practice of Buddhist repentance is not so much the asking for divine forgiveness. It is the clear recognition of our unskilful actions done intentionally or unmindfully through our body, speech and mind, which are the results of our lack of compassion and wisdom, originating from our attachment, aversion and delusion. After recognising our misgivings, we make resolutions to be as mindful as we can, so as to never repeat them under any circumstances. In this sense, repentance is about forgiving oneself through expressing regret and turning over a new leaf, absolving oneself of unhealthy guilt while renewing determination to further avoid evil, do good and purify the mind with greater diligence. Traditionally, the practice of repentance is done through chanting relevant sutra verses and bowing before a Buddha image, which represents the presence of the Buddha bearing witness to our sincerity. However, if one has done wrong to someone who is contactable, one should apologise to him or her personally, or the practice of repentance before the Buddha would be rendered a hollow practice lacking in sincerity. Even if the other party is unlikely to forgive us, we should do our part in seeking forgiveness - this is also the practice of humility. Actual remedial action of making up for any physical or psychological damage caused to others is also important – or repentance would literally be merely saying “sorry”. Repentance should ideally be practised at the end of each day, as we try to recall best we can, any misgivings we have done in the day. For repentance to be more effective, misdeeds should be recalled as specifically as possible, instead of vaguely generalising. Doing this practice daily reduces our repetitive mistakes as it increases our mindfulness the next day. Repentance should also be practised immediately in the moment, without procrastination, when we realise we have just made a mistake. If one’s pride is too strong, one should still make a point to repent later, as soon as possible. The stronger our sincerity is, the more powerful our repentance becomes. While repentance does not erases our negative karma, it can dissolve its future effects, much like the addition of abundant pure water onto salt, which dissolves the otherwise unbearable saltiness we have to taste. Interestingly, repentance practised well can become meritorious, as it prevents the creation of fresh negative karma which can lead to future suffering, while offering peace of mind to better learn, practise and share the Dharma, thus clearing much of the path to the attainment of Enlightenment.
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