An associate of my boss called me today. He was supposed to meet my boss and the latter was supposed to bring two printouts along. Just three days ago, I had slipped them under his office door (as he was not in), after which I texted him this – ‘Just slipped documents in office. Please bring to bank on Monday.’ Almost immediately, he replied ‘Ok’. Yet, today, this associate called to say my boss who is with him didn’t know he had to bring the documents. I asked to pass the phone to him. I told him I texted him and he replied ‘Ok’. He replied agitatedly that I should had reminded him. Well, the message WAS a reminder, because the envelope already had the same reminder written on it. And if he needed another reminder, he should have told me so. Indignant that he made me seem irresponsible to his associate when he was the unmindful one, I texted him this to jog his memory – ‘Sent this on Friday and you replied “Ok” – “Just slipped documents in office. Please bring to bank on Monday.”‘ As expected, there is no apology. In fact, he has never apologised for his mistakes to me.

This incident made me wonder why I have such a boss. Then it struck me that it’s my karma. Next, I wondered why he deserved an assistant like me – whom I think isn’t bad at all. The answer is still along the same line – it’s his karma. Just when I was struck with dismay at how fatalistic all these seems, I recalled that karma is dynamic. I can change my karma to deserve a better boss or even be my own boss. I can change the nature of the same boss if I increase my wisdom too – provided he is willing to change. The moment I leave might be the moment my karma changes too – in the sense of ‘coinciding’ with the end of my  ’lousy boss karma’. And if I were to leave, my boss’s karma of having a good assistant might change at the same time too. The kind of assistant he does not value and respect enough he will lose the karma of deserving – unless he changes in time.

A Tit for a Tat (36)

Tit: He agitated me!
Tat: How?
Tit: By being agitated at me!
Tat: For?
Tit: Something unfounded!
Tat: If so, your agitation at his unfounded agitation is doubly unfounded!

Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/why-did-you-become
Previous aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/were-all-mental

On this Monday, let’s review the song ‘Blue Monday’. I used to say this – music artistes should never do cover versions of songs unless they can redo the original in a more refreshing style. If not, not only does this mar the original song, it’s an utter waste of time. The best cover versions even take on a life of its own. A good example is Flunk’s heartfelt cover of New Order’s ‘Blue Monday’. After hearing Flunk’s updated version above, be surprised for how the very pop original was like from years ago at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3duUzBbBmmc Since this life we are living is a ‘cover version’ of our past lives, the same guideline above applies – We should do better this round! If not, it would be an utter waste of our efforts, of this life! Now, for commentary on the part of the lyrics, as based on Flunk’s video…

How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you’ve your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how do I feel?

The original take was on probably an abusive ‘love’ relationship, but Flunk’s video made me relate the opening lines to the unheard lamentations of a fish, who was hooked by someone. The fish had mistaken the bait was a food offering given freely out of love, but it was big mistake indeed. And when the angler rejoiced in having caught him, he asks – ‘Tell me, how do I feel?’ What does he feel? Betrayal, disappointment, pain, regret… Fishing hurts. Yes it does. If you don’t believe this, here are the hard facts – www.fishinghurts.com

Above is a video of Coldplay’s ‘Lost?’ (from the album ‘Viva La Vida’). Below are some of its lyrics.

Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost…

Just because I’m hurting
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt

Reminds me of how even the worst of times are but processes, that will pass. What matters is not staying stuck in down times, not dwelling in misery, not seeing being lost or hurt as conclusive condemnations. What matters is to let these processes transform and strengthen us. As Stonepeace put it paradoxically -

When we truly realise we are lost is
when we truly realise we need to find a way,
when we truly realise we are not so lost.

The video however, is a short story of an old man basking in his past glories. He attempts to relive them and dies in the process. I would think he was really lost… in his past, instead of living fully in the present. He relived sacrificing himself, but was it a worthy sacrifice the second time round? Or redundant? Maybe he ought to had sacrificed his attachment to his past, to better treasure his final days instead. His sudden death was perhaps from exhilaration more than satisfaction, from living too fully in the past while fully missing the reality of the present. May he have a good rebirth!

A Tit for a Tat (35)

Tit: Just to let you know, in case you are losing patience with him…
Tat: Aha?
Tit: He is actually suffering from a mental condition.
Tat: That explains so much!
Tit: On him appearing to be difficult?
Tat: Yes!
Tit: I thought letting you know this would help you to forgive him easier.
Tat: Thanks!
Tit: Truth is, as long as unenlightened, we are all suffering from some mental conditions.
Tat: Yes, because we all have attachment, aversion and delusion to various extents.
Tit: For instance, if you lose patience with him, it’s aversion!
Tat: Ha! Ya! Unfortunately!
Tit: May we be patient and help one another to heal spiritually!

Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/doubly-unfounded-agitation
Previous aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/im-not-a-counsellor

I came across the book ‘Eat Sleep Sit’ at Bugis Junctions’ Books Kinokuniy. Am not ashamed to say I was first attracted to the book by it’s Zennish design. With its title, it was enough to make me turn the hardcover book around to read its blurb. I would had bought the book right on the spot if there was an open copy for browsing. But the price was a little steep too. Unsure of the contents and its Dharma value, I thought I should wait for its paperback version. Well, I was glad that I made that decision… because just a few days later, moonpointer.com received an email fromt the publisher asking us if we would like to receive a free copy of the book for reviewing on this website! I guess the photos and articles on our Japan adventures showed us to be potential reviewers!

Eat Sleep Sit narrates a year in the life of a thirty year old designer (Kaoru Nonomura) who decides to leave everything in his mundane world to seek the meaning of his own existence at the Zen temple Eiheiji 永平寺 in the deep mountains. Eiheiji is one of two main temples of the Sōtō sect of Zen Buddhism. Its founder was Eihei Dōgen 永平道元 and is located about 10km east of Fukui in Fukui Prefecture, Japan. Eiheiji is famous for having the most rigorous ascetic Zen training in Japan. As Nonomura strikes the wooden gong, stepping into the compound of Eiheiji, it marked the beginning of his life-changing experience. Thus began my absorbing read.

I won’t try to hide my stupendous discovery of how the Zen monks were training in Eiheiji. The daily verbal and physical abuse as described felt almost ‘unbuddhistic’. At times, I wondered if I was reading about a man going through vigorous military training, rather than about a monk going through a radical mind-altering routine. Furthermore, the trainee monks are described to have little to eat, while having a lot to do! It seemed like the extreme asceticism that the Buddha strongly discouraged? Before I go any further, I have to remember that I’m not here to criticising the training method – am just sharing my impressions.

I must say that beyond the poetic contents of the book, it is really a well-translated book. I almost wish that I could read the Japanese version. Translator Juliet Winters Carpenter did a really wonderful job. The English translation is such that it compels the reader to read on, and I think she succeeded in bringing out the spirit of the book. At first, I didn’t expect it to be so heavily narrative. And yes, she did successfully lead me through the ritual of cleaning the corridor, the precise striking of the bell, the intensive leg-breaking sitting and more!

What I found disappointing with the book despite its overwhelming narrative descriptions are its few little personal reflections. In the Afterword of the Japanese paperback edition, Nonomura said he was essentially no different from before… a statement which I found most disheartening, other than the bits of sadness the book detailed. After a year in Eiheiji and spending five years recollecting every moment in the temple, he only has the following realisation:

“At Eiheiji I learned the courage to affirm everything in the past and the joy of living mindfully in the present, out of which the future will be born. I like to think that that courage and joy will stay with me, somewhere inside, and that someday when I burst into sudden loud weeping or wish out loud for death, I may remember them. Then I think I’ll know what my year at Eiheiji was all about.”

Somewhat depressing and serious, yet filled with warmth and sincerity, it’s almost amusing to read about the wide range of vegetables that the Nonomura was able to remember, all of which he listed. I remember exclaiming on what a superb memory he had, but only to next remember he was complaining how he had difficulties memorising verses in the sutras. Well, to conclude, if you are the kind who enjoys vivid narrative writing, Eat Sleep Sit is for you, for it is a superbly detailed book on how Japan’s most unbending Zen monastery operates, on how it trains monks. A true eye opener!

A Tit for a Tat (34)

Tit: That person called to ask some standard queries.
Tat: What’s wrong with that?
Tit: He later asked for solutions to his personal problems.
Tat: What’s wrong with that?
Tit: Well, I’m not his counsellor!
Tat: Well, you can’t always choose your roles!
Tit: Huh?
Tat: Sometimes, our karma presents unexpected roles to play.
Tit: Then?
Tat: And we decide how to best play our expected roles – with as much compassion and wisdom as we can!
Tit: What if I can’t help?
Tat: Help him find a good counsellor best you can!

Next aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/were-all-mental
Previous aT4aT: http://moonpointer.com/new/2009/07/divine-love-for-all

Thus Have I Seen (T.H.I.S.) Buddhist Film Festival @ 13 to 19 Sep 2009

Dharma In Action is pleased to present Thus Have I Seen (T.H.I.S.) Buddhist Film Festival. 10 films showcasing Buddhist values and cultures from all over the world will be screened (in Singapore). Visit www.thisfilmfest.com for more information and visit www.sistic.com to purchase your tickets now!

I received some queries as to which films I would recommend as must-sees. Having previewed the above (to help select them), below are my personal preferences (in sequence). I’m likely to write reviews for all of them as we get closer to the film fest dates. (Disclaimer: What’s wonderful for me might not be equally wonderful to you!)

01. Yilun Mingyue
02. The Dhamma Brothers
03. Sankara < Truly amazing and haunting film!
04. Arukihenro
05. Bhutan
06. Unmistaken Child
07. Mekong Full Moon Party
08. Zen Buddhism
09. Buddha Collapsed Out of Shame
10. Act Normal

Last Sunday, I attended a refresher lesson on meditation. I was pleasantly surprised and reminded of the powerful benefits of simple meditation. Once again I was brought down to earth with the very basics – on how to breathe mindfully. Breathing is one of the most basic ‘instincts’ of all beings, thus most often taken for granted, if not forgotten. When we lose mindfulness of our breathing, we lose the chance of being truly alive. We may have done many things today, but have we truly breathed in the moment?

Seldom do remember that mindfulness of each breath has the ability to bring us almost instant collectedness and calmness. It’s the best tranquiliser (which doesn’t numb) that we can offer our tired and neglected body and mind, which is often overrun by the trivialities and stress of everyday life.

Right now, take a deep breath, and exhale just as deeply. Just once. Let go of everything else, and just be one with your normal uncontrived breathing. As the Buddha taught in the Anapanasati Sutta, ‘Always mindful, he breathes in; mindful he breathes out’. Amituofo!

For supper last night, I reheated a prepacked naan using a microwave oven. To my shock, when it was ready, it was puffed up but crispy hard like a biscuit. (I ate it anyway, with some vegan mayonnaise to make it less dry.) I was baffled, not knowing how it turned out this way, while vaguely remembering encountering the same problem a few months ago, only to resolve it later. While still puzzling over the cause while walking to lunch today, I suddenly recalled that when the first naan from the previous pack turned out overdone, I then read the instructions on the packaging, only to realise it only needed 30 seconds of reheating, instead of the default duration. That was how the rest of the naans in that pack were done just right thereafter.

Now, this isn’t just an apalling case of forgetfulness, because I related it to something more horrifying… The fact that I lost mindfulness of such a recently learnt everyday lesson is truly terrifying. It made me wonder how many much more important spiritual lessons I might forget by the end of this life. I did not just forget having made a mistake, I forgot how I resolved it too. There were five nanns in the pack. Despite one mistake followed by four corrections, I made the same mistake again for a new pack! How much do we really learn, do we really internalise?

The Buddha-to-be as a newborn is said to have walked from birth. He did not forget how to. For the rest of us, we were born unable to walk, only to crawl, fall and bawl… before ‘re-mastering’ walking… once again. I wouldn’t want to go through that painful cycle again, even though I can’t recall the anguish. And that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it? We forget the anguish of rebirth, and we return. I must make it to Pureland, that land which enables and sustains mindfulness of everything important (the Dharma), where enlightenment is a definite eventuality.