![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/124.jpg?resize=124%2C77\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
If what you find attractive in someone
\nis the Dharma embodied and expressed,
\nwhy be attached to the manner and form?<\/p>\n– Stonepeace<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There are a few great regrets I have when it comes to relationships. Ironically, the most troubling ones are those which are somewhat related to the Dharma. Many years ago, I met someone, who was interested in the Dharma I was sharing. Later, she confessed that she developed a liking for me. When I politely rejected her, while promising to remain as good Dharma friends, she felt so troubled that she said she is likely to turn away from the Dharma because it reminds her of me. It was very sad indeed, because what she was attracted to in me was the Dharma I had to share\u2026 but she unmindfully digressed\u2026 when she \u2018fell in love\u2019 with the fool expressing it.<\/span> It was lopsided\u2026 as if I was more important than the Dharma. I asked a monk for advice on her \u2018threat\u2019 to disown the Dharma because of me. Surprisingly, he said to simply ignore it.<\/p>\n
It felt heartless, though I couldn\u2019t really tell if it was good advice. Maybe monks, who have less worldly entanglements are more clear-cut about these dilemmas? I maintained friendly but not too intimate contact, but she eventually slipped away. She did join another Dharma group though. But I seriously can\u2019t tell if it was for better or worse due to the group\u2019s somewhat controversial nature. But there was no way to get closer again, even dharmically, due to the fear of stirring up her painful memories. And she seemed to be maintaining a distance too. Or maybe I had become insignificant and was forgotten. Such tension is very unfortunate, because over the years, there is much wonderful Dharma that I\u2019m eager to share with her<\/span>, but am unable to. I have to respect the preference of keeping the distance.<\/p>\n
Though I can\u2019t really get closer unless conditions change, the truth is, our karmic affinities never end. Even if they appear to fade away, they only remain \u2018dormant\u2019 for a while, and change, for better or worse. Why not conscientiously better it then?<\/span> Even more sadly, looking back, she is not the only one who had this problem with me. To prevent accidental future \u2018crushes\u2019, I decided to be as faceless as I can, especially when sharing the Dharma online. But really, I\u2019m just a non-descript person. Without the Dharma, I\u2019m as \u2018charming\u2019 as a piece of blank paper. So much said, I have to let go of the attachment of wanting to heal the relationship too, and the sadness involved, while remaining open. If you are reading this, I hope you will let go of your attachment and sadness too – if any. If you can, there\u2019s so much we can catch up on our Dharma friendship!<\/p>\n
If what you find more attractive in someone
\nis the manner and form,
\nyou might miss the Dharma embodied and expressed.<\/p>\n– Stonepeace<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If what you find attractive in someone is the Dharma embodied and expressed, why be attached to the manner and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[75,142,45],"class_list":["post-5779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mix","tag-attachment","tag-regret","tag-stonepeace","wpcat-1-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5779"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5779\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}