{"id":9646,"date":"2011-07-27T01:08:06","date_gmt":"2011-07-26T17:08:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/?p=9646"},"modified":"2011-07-27T01:30:07","modified_gmt":"2011-07-26T17:30:07","slug":"a-limbo-befriender","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/2011\/07\/a-limbo-befriender\/","title":{"rendered":"A Limbo Befriender?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Something written a long time ago… (Facebook has changed much since)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Checking if a friend sees me as a friend,
\nI clicked ‘add as friend’,
\nand waited.<\/p>\n

‘Awaiting friend confirmation’, says Facebook still, days later.
\nAm I actually secretly ignored already,
\nor left in the ambivalent limbo between acceptance and rejection?<\/p>\n

I can click the little \u2018x\u2019 to \u2018cancel friend request\u2019.
\nBut why should I, as I clicked \u2018add as friend\u2019 sincerely,
\nand remain sincere?<\/p>\n

Perhaps friendship is not always so black or white.
\nOne is not a friend just because one is \u2018added\u2019.
\nOne is not a non-friend just because one is \u2018removed\u2019 or ‘ignored’.<\/p>\n

There is the in-between too –
\nthose ‘awaiting friend confirmation’,
\na third kind of relationship, between friendship and non-friendship?<\/p>\n

I appreciate the kindness to not clearly reject,
\nthough not clearly accepting either,
\nbecause there is hope?<\/p>\n

Maybe Facebook will only mess things up?
\nMaybe Facebook will help sort things out?
\nToo many maybes?<\/p>\n

What\u2019s going on?
\nI don\u2019t really know
\nbecause I can\u2019t read minds.<\/p>\n

How can I draw a final conclusion about what the person must be thinking
\nif things are still open-ended,
\nif I remain open-hearted and open-minded?<\/p>\n

How can the person draw a final conclusion about me
\nif things are still open-ended,
\nunless the person is close-hearted and close-minded?<\/p>\n

‘Not now’?
\nPending for how long?
\nAs long as needed.<\/p>\n

We are after all
\ngoing to really befriend each other sooner or later
\non the one path to Buddhahood.<\/p>\n

Those always there for you
\neven if you are not always there for them
\nwill always be your friends.<\/p>\n

Please don’t feel pressurised to add me
\nbecause I think I understand the ambivalence.
\nI won’t ever ask about it in person too.<\/p>\n

May we win each other over
\nwith stronger friendship with each other.
\nMay all be well and happy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Something written a long time ago… (Facebook has changed much since) Checking if a friend sees me as a friend,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[116,139],"class_list":["post-9646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mix","tag-friendship","tag-karma","wpcat-1-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9646\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonpointer.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}