Q: I am in a dilemma as to whether I should have another kid. I don’t see why I should have another child to take away my attention from my present one.
A: If you decide not to have a second child, it’s good to explain the above to her when she can understand.
Q: But my kid will be all alone in this world if we as parents pass away. Hopefully, there will be a supportive marriage.
A: All parents hope for their children to have good families – but after doing their best to nurture them, they do have their own karma to live through, though subject to changes, as according to their choice of attitude and action.
Q: As a parent, I can’t stop worrying. I heard of a sad story about my friend’s child who died in an accident. Why should I be thinking about something which may never happen?
A: Your concern is not unfounded, as life can be unpredictable. However, having a second child just as a ‘back-up plan’ in case the first departs is actually a kind of selfishness. The truth is, since life can be unpredictable, there is no guarantee that this ‘back-up plan’ will work out well either. Living in Samsara, we all take calculated risks – even when it comes to family-planning. What matters is planning best we can, while preparing for the worst-case scenario. This is actually being realistic and learning to make peace with our decisions and whatever happens or not.
Q: I don’t want to have another child because of peer pressure, but I feel guilty about not giving my kid a sibling.
A: Yes, there’s no need to do something just because someone thinks it’s better. Do it only when you know it should be done. The truth is, while having another child can provide a sibling for your kid’s support, having another child also means another family member to support, to worry about. Whatever you decide, it’s important to make peace with it. If you are still uncertain, you might want to weigh the pros and cons in a chart and assign weightage to each point to decide which decision you are slanting towards? It’s good to discuss this with your husband too, also factoring in the points above.
GOOD POST … I like your answer and all these really worth thinking deeper.
There is no perfect situation in this world.