Read the two below stories online… Following them are my comments…
What is Love?
One day, Plato asked his teacher, “What is love? How can I find it?” His teacher answered, “There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love.” Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands, having picked nothing.His teacher asked, “Why did you not pick any stalk?” Plato answered, “Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find the most magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so I did not pick any in the end. His teacher then said, “And that is love.”
What is Marriage?
On another day, Plato asked his teacher, “What is marriage? How can I find it?” His teacher answered, “There is a thriving forest in front. Walk forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find the tallest tree, then you have found marriage.” Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with a tree. The tree was not thriving, and it was not tall either. It was only an ordinary tree. His teacher asked, “Why did you chop down such an ordinary tree?” Plato answered, “Because of my previous experience. I walked halfway through the forest. This time, I saw this tree, and I felt that it was not bad, so I chopped it down and brought it back. I did not want to miss the opportunity.” His teacher then said, “And that is marriage.”
Comments
If the stories are true, what did Plato’s teacher (Socrates) mean? That true love is unattainable, that marriage is simply settling with who might not be the best? (Incidentally, Socrates did not have a happy marriage.) The truth is, most, who had the power of choice, who are married, did indeed try to settle with someone who is the best available. For some, their life partners are really the best, even upon hindsight years down the road. Good karma! For some others, it might be a gamble to some extent – which is why some are unhappily married and even get divorced. But is true love unattainable? Love is true only when it is unconditional and for all. There is no need to pick a stalk when the whole field can be loved. Sounds unattainable? This is where spiritual practice comes in – to expand our love to be ever more universal, all pervading and equanimous – like the Buddhas’ and Bodhisattvas’!
Any form of love with attachment will lead to suffering. Even if one has a good spouse, they have to be separated by death one day. Having a good or bad marriage will lead to suffering, only in different extent and timing as long as there is attachment.
1. True love is unconditional.
If there is a reason to love, eg. pretty, rich, good character, etc.. Then this conditional love cannot sustain when condition change. The most magnificent stalk will wither.
2. Marriage is not looking for the perfect person, but to love an imperfect person perfectly.
This is not only applicable for union of 2 persons. It is very relevant for practice of compassion for all beings. When we found our perfect partner, chances are we soon realize, due to our discriminating mind, that there are imperfections too. Only true love can help both to see through their illusion/differences and make the marriage work. A good carpenter can make use of any tree/wood.
I love your reply. Yes, the most magnificent stalk will wither and marriage is love and imperfect person perfectly. I love my current girlfriend! She is the BEST for me.
1) All love is conditional because you can only love in the condition that you are alive and/or capable of it. Even if being alive and being able to love aren’t taken to account, there are many factors to love.
2) Marriage is to love an imperfect person to the best of your abilities, given that it’s reciprocated.
When u love all. Serve all. Save all. Regardless of their language, race, religion, country and the spiritual realms they are in, knowing that all have been our loved ones since timeless beginnings and endless lives to come. Your loved ones is no longer apart from you but a part of the activities of the bodhisattvas.
The buddhas and bodisattvas embodies the true meaning of unconditional love for the very reason that their activities are non discriminating and includes even non believers too. Spirtual evolution is a common journey and the idea that no one should be left behind, all should have a chance to see the truth by replacing ignorance with wisdom. By banishing anger with compassion. By transformation of desires into the desire to benefit all sentient beings that the Buddha nature within us will shine and darkness be dispelled by light.
Love is mostly selfish and the Buddha substituted it with compassion. The Buddha not only teaches us how to save ourselves but he saves as well with his teachings. No matter where our minds lead us. No matter where our karmic winds may carry us. If one remembers the dharma, one can get themselves out of the situation. To be able to save the unsaved. To be able to save others where one is most needed whether it is in the depths of hell fire is the mark of messiahship. The Buddha is well aware that sentient beings sin due to ignorance. If one is to spent one’s time and effort condemning them. He would rather choose to use his time and wisdom awakening them.
Which is why even the wrathful side manifested by bodhisattvas is also filled with love, aimed to guide sentient beings back to the positive path which they have deviated from.
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me…
right on Harv!! Way to go – just make sure it’s reciprocal!
i think it is difficult to give universal definition for love because it is very subjective. even the Greek philosophers, they didn’t define efficiently. just love is love!
Depends on how you want to define love. In worldly sense, true love is fleeting moment by moment. And very often heavily conditioned. In Buddhist sense, true love is all the way unconditional, fueled with perfect compassion and wisdom of the enlightened.
Today coincidentally I was contemplating love. I joined this group and the first story I read is about love. It gave me some insights-metta
We are glad that you found something useful here 🙂
I think Socrates mean that many people have the wrong view of love. That their unenlightened perspective of love is like bubbles on water. Ideal Love should be unconditional, accepting, gratitude and contentment. If you read that part on what is life, he mentioned about impermanence and non grasping. Yet many people try to find the best available, but who is without flaws? There was an article which addresses why Christian women have difficulty finding love, that is because they are looking for Jesus Christ himself. Love should be equanimous, Bodhisattva and Buddhas save all regardless of their looks,wealth or status. Lastly if you watch 非诚勿扰 “If you are the one”, you will realise many foolish men will rather walk away empty handed, than to choose two women who are willing to give him a chance.. sad.
Telling philosophy is easier than anything else in this world