Question: Sometimes, I feel tired and worried. Despite diligence in Dharma learning, I seem to still be in the darkness of delusion, uncertain of whether I am improving or backsliding.
Answer: I think it could be because you lack a clear unshakable direction. In terms of the diligence, maybe you’re going towards multiple sources of light in the darkness here and there, but sometimes not in a way that leads steadily out of the darkness in one direction. It’s important to keep moving in one direction to get out, or you could be going in circles, without a sense of steady progress.
If you know the Buddhist basics already, this means it is time to learn to focus on a main Dharma practice (专修一个法门). Myself also learnt here and there without a solid sense of progress in the past. But now that I focus on the Pure Land path, I know clearly where I’m going. When Pure Land is reached, there will be no need to worry about backsliding too, as the path to enlightenment will be smooth and the goal definitely within reach.
It’s common and normal to be still looking for the ‘right’ practice when one starts out. Sometimes, we just need a little longer to find the most suitable ‘path’ for ourself. The important thing is to be clear about the direction and have faith in it. Keep on the path and one day you will find the affinity with the practice that suits you.
May all find their paths/practices quickly! :happy:
If you only have a pair of legs, you can only put that pair of legs on one path at any one time if one is to be able to move around and progress along a path. Even an octopus with eight arms has a focused direction. Of course, when we are learn the dharma, one should learn widely and share widely, the same way doctors learn their medical knowledge before they decide to specialize.
The masters teach that as life is short and uncertain, once one is uncertain of which Dharma path to choose, one should choose the Pureland path, as it is the safest and with the best results. If one is not sure yet, while looking at other paths, one’s path in that moment should be the Pureland path. Namo Amituofo