There is this lady whom I’d encountered a few times in the subway train. She would be very engrossed in reading the newspaper, so much so that she simply did not bother when the carriage gets packed. Taking up more than the standing space of a person with her arms wide open, she was either clueless about the situation or simply inconsiderate. I once had to stand in front of her. As the crowd was pushing in, I had to step back towards her, while she continued reading without moving an inch. As I had no space to turn, I tilted my head back onto her paper. It was at that moment that she realised the carriage was full! She folded the paper and backed a little, but nothing seemed to stop her from the latest entertainment gossip. With one hand, she continued to read, intruding into the space of those beside her with the edges of pages brushing against them.
I was thinking… with her ‘mindfulness’, if only she would turn her focus towards practising Buddhism (which would include being mindful of the welfare of those around her!), perhaps she would be on the expressway to gaining insight.
“This is the only way, monks, for the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow and lamentation, for the destruction of pain and grief, for reaching the right path, for the attainment of Nibbana, namely the four foundations of mindfulness.” – Buddha
Related Article:
The Four Foundations of Mindfulness
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanasatta/wheel019.html
Maybe you can try “sharing” her papers. Pretend to be interested in what she’s reading and invite yourself into her reading space, as if eyeing the same article together with her. Most people would feel uncomfortable and shrivel up. That should create more standing space :p
If I do stand beside her, I will playfully yet innocently bump a little into her whenever the train comes to a halt… and turn to apologise to the newspaper (not her!) :angel:
Remind me of a bus incident, no one wanted to walk to the rear! So, seeing that, I told my kid to try to move in, so that more can come up the bus. I was in a good mood that day, so my speech sound like a gentle reminder for little kid.
So, when other heard it, some of them moved! And one of the passengers gave me a smile when she alight at the next bus stop and gave me the seat! Not a bad day after all!
The good thing about going out with kid, it is so easily to apply “指桑骂槔 (tone and content must not be too harsh!)
If I am alone, I would say ‘Excuse Me, can I move in? Thank you’ and try squeeze in which I usually did. Anyway, I learn this from another gentleman that I saw in the MRT!
There was a guy taking 2 seats instead of 1. Everyone was looking and not saying anything! And there came this gentleman (with long shirt & tie), he went to stand in front of this guy and ask him in a real polite manner, something like “Do you need 2 seats?” and surprisingly that guy shifted and he got that seat ^_^
If you see this lady again! Tell her, she got real Good POTIENTIAL, not many people can focus so well (me got a monkey mind, so sad!). Tell her, she will easily succeed if she practices mindful in Buddhism (Meditation) and not many people got that talent, how we envy her! (not sarcastic)
Don’t give her any Buddhism Stuff yet… just plant that seed! Who knows, after many years, when she comes across mediation, she remembers what you had said and able to go into Buddhism easily: p Positive Psychology!
Talk so much, I don’t think I can easily “enter†into such conversation, other than old folks!
Crystalbymail gone crazy again!:sick:
Oops, sorry! when i say (me got a monkey mind), I am talking about myself! Don’t get me wrong.
The bus/train human jam problem reminds me of the ‘Train Chain Effect’ : http://tinyurl.com/aza9ef 😮
Agreed.
One thing, many of us didn’t realize this by “helping other we are helping ourself!†If we can get this message across, then maybe, there could be some improvements in buses/trains, I don’t know.
I guess, not many people would think to this extend. To give up seats for needy person, is like ‘prevention is better than cure’ stuff.
If no-one give up seats for needy person, if anything happened, whole ‘train people’ will be effected! What happened if the needy person fainted or fall (can be domino effects!) and all get injured, delayed, questioned … blab…blabb…
I learnt this from a personal experience! Many years back, I was going to work via MRT from North to Raffles Place – long journey. The night before, I had insomnia. When I got into the train, it was so crowds. I struggled in my high heel and long for a seat (very very tired mentally and physically + emotionally). Finally got a seat, so relieved!
At the next station, a pregnant lady was standing near me! Gosh! What I am suppose to do, to give up or not to? After remember how nice I was treated in the train when I was pregnant, I let her have my seat.
Train was still very crowds and ventilation was stuffy. Guess what happened next? The pregnant quickly took out a plastic bag and vomited (morning sickness).
At the moment, I was thinking, if I haven’t given up my seat to her, if she was standing with hand holding on, she would not able to get the plastic bag out. Those sitting in front of her, would get all the vomit! The train will be so smelly. How can I go to work the whole day in that dirty cloth? And if I go back to change, I would be very late! I was already feeling lousy, if such things going to happen, it will send me crazy!
I glad I had that beautiful experience that leads to more pleasant experiences giving up seats later on.
Just last month, when I was in crowded trained at 10 plus at night and I saw an old folk standing. I asked her was she ok and gentle reminded her to hold tight. Two tired and sleepy student nurses were sitting on the priority seats heard that, wanted to give up the seat. Anyway, this old auntie refused (I think she understand the tough job nurses are having) as she was alighting soon and before she left the trained. She wished me and the 2 young nurses, good nite and said bye-bye with smile on her face!
Wow, so nice! We were all strangers, would we meet again, I don’t know but that moment in time, it was not a cold world but WARM. That moment, is what I wanted to keep, that lovely feeling …, I don’t care whether those around us felt it or not … :love:
thanks for sharing the lovely feelings. it warm the people reading as well. 🙂
papers nowadays have so much complains and unhappiness, it’s taxing and draining to even read through them. xD
Thanks, Mongs!
Oh, when those ‘caring words’ pop out from my mouth to the old folk out of a sudden, I was real surprised, was that me?
Must be the positive energy that latched on me after attending Ajahn Braham’s Talk at Singapore Buddhist Lodge, last month! It happened after that talk and I was on my way home.
Thinking that I’m going to miss his talk this Saturday (21 Feb) afternoon …, make me sad! 🙁
I agree mongs. Sometimes i just can’t bother to flip newspapers cos they can be quite depressing 🙁 They should report more positive news of good deeds too, to lift spirits and create virtuous instead of vicious cycles.
If everyone can be a bit self-less (in the usual sense of the word and Buddhistically), this world would be a more pleasant place to be.