Q: If a friend owes me money but says she is not able to pay me back because of financial difficulties, which seems to be true, will she create negative karma, if I have decided not to pursue the matter?
S: Here are some questions to think over:
[A] Did you give any time limit – that she can’t meet?
[B] Is she unable to return the money now or unable to return it for the rest of her life?
[C] Have you tried asking her to pay back at a comfortable rate via installments?
Remembering that karma is created based on intentional action, here are some possible scenarios:
(1) If her intention was to not return the money –
even before getting the money from you, it’s deceit – and there is negative karma created.
(2) If her intention was to return the money before getting the money from you,
but turns out to be really unable to, there is no deceit and no negative karma created.
(3) If her intention is to not return the money after getting the money from you,
but turns out to be really able to, there is deceit and negative karma created.
But the truth is, things are often not so black and white – as there is another possibility – that she MIGHT be able to return the money – if she REALLY wants to. She herself might not be mindful of this possibility or not. If she can return the money if she puts in effort, but decides not to, there is still deceit to some extent, and negative karma created. If not, there is none.
As hinted by questions [A], [B] and [C] above, usually, if you don’t set a solid deadline, while asking her to pay back gradually in parts, it is possible to return the money – unless she is really very poor, cannot work and cannot save. There is a big difference between being unable to return the money and being unwilling to return the money. Suggesting the installment method can urge her to cultivate some basic financial management skills too. If you don’t want to push her to return, you can still suggest the above to her and ask her to consider it. You can even send this discussion to her.
The fact that she is able to successfully ‘borrow’ (or is it ‘take’?) money from you means she had positive karma to receive kindness. However, if she chooses not to reciprocate with gratitude by taking it for granted and does not return the kindness when she can and should, she does create some negative karma and will be karmically less likely to receive such kindness in future.
That said, when lending money, it’s best to consider the worst case scenario of not getting the money back before lending – because the truth is, many people lend money and can’t get it back. Only when you really cannot get the money back through any reasonable means should you really resign to the idea that it’s your negative karma to lose money this way. When we let others off the debt hook too easily, we are not helping them to treasure and top-up their positive karma too.
However, if you lent money out of kindness, you should never regret your good intention in the first place. When we regret our actions done out of kindness, we lose some of the positive karma created through the action. Helping the friend to learn how to be debt-free is the real help in the long run. Helping to introduce her to the Dharma is even more helpful – because the Dharma learnt and practised well can benefit one and others life after life, while money is just a resource that comes and goes.
Related Article:
To Lend Money or Not?
https://moonpointer.com/new/2010/03/to-lend-money-or-not
What about the case of forgetting? Having truly forgotten? And if the lender is ok with it?
Forgetting might be a problem if it reflects ingratitude. It’s hard to imagine someone forgetting someone’s kindness if one is grateful. Continual wilful ingratitude creates negative karma which leads the fading of one’s store of positive karma too.
:shocked:
Think there might be no negative karma on the part of the borrower if there is true and unintentional total forgetting of the loan. I think this is rare! Once one recalls, one should make a point to return one’s dues.
Even if the lender is okay with the loaner forgetting the loan, whatever intentions the borrower has determines his or her karma.