A friend, despite being a movie buff, often falls asleep while watching DVDs that feature slower movies. Because he falls asleep, he only has a fuzzy idea of what the films are about. This vague perception discourages him from rewatching them… because they are then somewhat decided as not so interesting anyway. Sometimes, he even falls asleep during the second attempt to finish the show. Now, this doesn’t do much justice to the film’s value (even if there isn’t much of it). It also does little justice to himself for he ends up missing some great films. Even when told these films are really good, he remains skeptical – due to his fragmented and therefore inaccurate experiences of them.
I signed up for cable TV recently, which offers ‘free’ unlimited movies – older ones of course. I took the opportunity to search for some films I had always wanted to see but missed. The system allows the user to watch videos on demand with the rewind and fast-forward function available. As such, it somewhat functions like a virtual DVD library. It not being live TV, I gave myself permission to doze off while watching, though I made it a point to rewind to see the missed parts too. Sometimes, there are lapses of ‘micro-sleep’ for a few seconds. When I snap out of it, I wonder if I should rewind. If I guess no important scene or dialogue was missed, I would not.
Now, am I not like my friend above too? I’m also not doing justice to the films and myself. I can always rewind old films, but real life itself cannot be rewound. There is no rehearsal in life – this is it. Moments passed are moments lost forever. Let me remind myself to live sharp from moment to moment, so as to learn well. Time is also wasted when there is rewinding done. There should be less and less need to rewind, just as there should be less and less need to be reborn out of lapsed mindfulness, which leads to not learning well enough on how to break free from the cycle of life and death. Why did you rewind back to Samsara… from the previous life? Why are you rewinding in Samsara now… in everyday life? Awake, awake… for if not now, then when?
With this moment awake,
further awake to this moment.
– Stonepeace