If you learn to love one properly,
you will learn to love all equally.
– Stonepeace
[Notes: The notion of love in this article is love in general, as in loving-kindness (Metta: the wish for all to be well and happy), that excludes lust as a complicating worldly factor. The following are some of the concepts that will be covered by me in the scheduled Dharma talk/discussion below.] The above quote is deceptively simple, paradoxical but true. When we love one person at first, the love naturally seems focused and thus limited. However, as it develops, it becomes more and more true. True Love is such that it is able to flow to that one person unconditionally. Here is where the surprise comes in. Having developed into totally unconditional love, one’s subject(s) of love is no longer constrained. The subject(s) of love might as well be anyone and everyone else – because there are no longer the conditions that the beloved must be a specific person with a specific appearance (body/matter) and character (mind). If it is constrained so, it wouldn’t be True Love.
As such, the expression ‘my one and only True Love’ is an oxymoron, a deluded concept – for True Love cannot be for only one, while it sees all as one, as equanimously deserving of it. It comes as no surprise then, that the quality of Metta that is cultivated in Buddhist meditation is to be an immeasurable and sublime state of mind, that forms the basis for Karuna (compassion), Mudita (rejoice) and Upekka (equanimity), all of which are to be equally boundless. The truth is, even one’s supposed ‘single exclusive ‘True Love’ changes in time (due to the law of impermanence and non-self) in appearance and character. As such, for love to be true, it must not be conditioned in any way – not even by change (including death). Counterintuitively, everlasting love can be so only when it embraces those who are not lasting, who are subject to change. Conversely, how true is love that cannot withstand great changes?
For love to be truly unconditional, it has to encompass all kinds of beings too – including the seen (e.g. animals and insects) and the unseen (e.g. ghosts and gods)! So much said, the spiritual quantum leap from romantic to universal love usually does not happen instantaneously, unless one has some form of ‘sudden’ realisation on the above. How does the transformation occur then? When we learn to love one (e.g. a lover, or a few e.g. family and friends) more and more truly, we will inevitably learn to love others more truly too. As our love is mostly constricted in the first place (unless you already are big-hearted), the growth of love usually has to start small, before it widens to be increasingly inclusive. Anyway, what good is love that does not grow, that becomes more and more restricted? It will become unhealthy for all involved… and those not involved too!
The hardest way to dissolve lust is to transform it to aversion.*
The easiest way to dissolve lust is to transform it to loving-kindness.**
– Stonepeace
* Aversion towards lust, the lusted and/or oneself (for lusting)
**Loving-kindness is the opposite of aversion.
When it arises, attachment (including lust) and aversion will dissolve.
Related Article:
A ‘Lovely’ Sprinkle of ‘Stardust’
http://moonpointer.com/index.php?itemid=1857
From Romantic Love to Universal Love:
The Buddhist Perspective of True Love (12/02/09)
Is Buddhism against romantic love? Does it help or obstruct the cultivation of universal love? Are these two forms of love mutually exclusive or can they both be parts of the path to enlightenment? How would the Buddha define True Love? Does it exist at all? Most of all, can you attain it? How? Come and discover how Buddhism sees the role of worldly and spiritual love in this pre-Valentine’s Day special!
How the Buddha Might See the Economic Crisis:
The Buddhist View of Financial Management (19/02/09)
In the light of the current financial crisis, how should Buddhists respond? If the Buddha were an economist, what might he advise for tiding over this problem? Is there an ideal Buddhist economic model for the world to learn from? Yes! If there is an ideal model for financial management in Buddhism, what would it be? Isn’t investing gambling? Are there differences? The nature of true investments will be explored too.
Where: Awareness Place (#03-39 Bras Basah Complex)
When: 7.30 – 9.30pm (Thu)
Register: Free – just send your name and contact no. to wsdp[@]kmspks.org
Theoretically, True Love and Upekka can only be truly realized once one realizes True Emptiness. Likewise for True Metta, Karuna and Mudita. For now, if we can achieve a certain degree of the 4 Immeasurable and Sublime State of Mind, it would have been great. :love:
In other words, True Love is not possible with dualistic mind and mind that sprung from 3 evils (greed, hatred and delusion). :bandit:
Yes, so what’s important is to continually work towards perfecting the Four Immeasurables :-] As the Buddha attested, it can be done with practice. Even if it takes more than this lifetime, it’s worth it. Woohoo! :woot: