During one of the telecasted auditions of American Idol Season 8, a girl entered the audition room, like most others, with hopes to sing her way to stardom. However, when she opened her mouth to sing, her pitch, tune and tone were really off. As the camera panned to the judges’ faces, their expressions were as expected. When they broke their verdict to her, she appeared totally shocked. It was an unanimous decision, not solely Simon’s. She defended that all her friends around her said she sang well, that she ought to stand a chance in the competition. As she walked out of the audition room, she was still in shock, but firmly decided that the judges really made faulty judgements. She would rather choose to believe her friends and not the professionals.
The truth was, she really sang badly. I’m not an expert in music but most should be able to tell when the pitch is off. I was wondering why her friends would mislead her. If they were really true friends, wouldn’t they speak the truth and encourage her to seek professional training to improve her singing? Why would they feed her with false hopes and let her embarrass herself on international TV? I feel sorry for her, not because she sang badly but that she might not have true friends around her. That said, perhaps her friends do seriously think her singing is good. I can only hope that is true.
In Sigalovada Sutta, Buddha taught us of how to differentiate foes from friends. Here’s the checklist for you 🙂
“These four, young householder, should be understood as foes in the guise of friends:
(1) he who appropriates a friend’s possessions,
(2) he who renders lip-service,
(3) he who flatters,
(4) he who brings ruin.(1) “In four ways, young householder, should one who appropriates be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he appropriates his friend’s wealth,
(ii) he gives little and asks much,
(iii) he does his duty out of fear,
(iv) he associates for his own advantage.(2) “In four ways, young householder, should one who renders lip-service be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he makes friendly profession as regards the past,
(ii) he makes friendly profession as regards the future,
(iii) he tries to gain one’s favor by empty words,
(iv) when opportunity for service has arisen, he expresses his inability.(3) “In four ways, young householder, should one who flatters be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he approves of his friend’s evil deeds,
(ii) he disapproves his friend’s good deeds,
(iii) he praises him in his presence,
(iv) he speaks ill of him in his absence.(4) “In four ways, young householder, should one who brings ruin be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he is a companion in indulging in intoxicants that cause
infatuation and heedlessness,
(ii) he is a companion in sauntering in streets at unseemly hours,
(iii) he is a companion in frequenting theatrical shows,
(iv) he is a companion in indulging in gambling which causes heedlessness.”Thus spoke the Exalted One. And when the Master had thus spoken, he spoke yet again:
The friend who appropriates,
the friend who renders lip-service,
the friend that flatters,
the friend who brings ruin,
these four as enemies the wise behold,
avoid them from afar as paths of peril.“These four, young householder, should be understood as warm-hearted friends:
(1) he who is a helpmate,
(2) he who is the same in happiness and sorrow,
(3) he who gives good counsel,
(4) he who sympathises.(1) “In four ways, young householder, should a helpmate be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he guards the heedless,
(ii) he protects the wealth of the heedless,
(iii) he becomes a refuge when you are in danger,
(iv) when there are commitments he provides you with double the
supply needed.(2) “In four ways, young householder, should one who is the same in happiness and sorrow be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he reveals his secrets,
(ii) he conceals one’s own secrets,
(iii) in misfortune he does not forsake one,
(iv) his life even he sacrifices for one’s sake.(3) “In four ways, young householder, should one who gives good counsel be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he restrains one from doing evil,
(ii) he encourages one to do good,
(iii) he informs one of what is unknown to oneself,
(iv) he points out the path to heaven.(4) “In four ways, young householder, should one who sympathises be understood as a warm-hearted friend:
(i) he does not rejoice in one’s misfortune,
(ii) he rejoices in one’s prosperity,
(iii) he restrains others speaking ill of oneself,
(iv) he praises those who speak well of oneself.”Thus spoke the Exalted One. And when the Master had thus spoken, he spoke yet again:
The friend who is a helpmate,
the friend in happiness and woe,
the friend who gives good counsel,
the friend who sympathises too —
these four as friends the wise behold
and cherish them devotedly
as does a mother her own child.
I remember watching such an episode (not sure if it’s the same girl though) and thinking either her friends are just plain patronising or tone-deaf. But then again the girl herself may be selective in listening, taking in only those words that are soothing to her ears and blocking out those that are honest but not so flattering. Another possibility may be that she is really nervous and that affects her performance. I once was shocked to hear a friend sang off-tune in a public karaoke setting because when she was with us in private, her voice was really lovely! :whistle:
I do understand the value of friendship, â€True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.†here i read some excerpts from friendshipquotes
It’s sad not to have true friends, and sadder if one isn’t true to oneself. 🙁
Agree that for some, performing under stress can affect performance. Perhaps she was just not ready yet.
Now we know why karaoke in Asia have individual rooms, so that many can be spared from off-key singers, while they can practise in them till they feel ready to go public! 😀
Once, I belted Hotel California in a KTV gathering with colleagues. I usually don’t sing before others, cos I sound :sick: but somehow, I did it. The folks cheered on throughout, amazed at how I was handling the song. But upon hindsight, the cheering was probably just to keep me going, not so much because I was doing a great job! ;-(
Namo Sakyamuni Buddha
True friends are indeed hard to get. :p Thanks for being a true friend to the Buddhists. :love: 😀
True friends is the motivation of life. Life become beautiful with them. I would like to add one quotation on friends from Friendship Quotes “My best friend is one who brings out the best in me.”