Being Blameless Among the Blameful


Ray: What’s the best way to attain inner peace despite being in the midst of those who have a blaming attitude?
Shian: Why not take it a case at a time? E.g. Blaming session #1 means opportunity #1 to explain why the blaming is not needed. If you do it long enough without being worked up, the person should eventually realise it is senseless to blame groundlessly.

Ray: Yes, there is no point in blaming if it would only make the situation worse. Sometimes, we run into situations where we cannot change the behavior of those around us. All we can hope to work on is to control how we feel about it. How can we maintain our inner peace despite others’ behavior?
Shian: Yup. Though we might not be able to quickly influence another’s behaviour to change, we can always make sure we ourselves behave the ideal way. In time to come, our good example can hopefully make the person think twice about his or her behaviour. A simple way to not be negatively affected is to remind ourselves that ‘being angry is to let others’ mistakes punish us.’ (Advice from Master Chengyan) It’s senseless to be upset at those who don’t understand why we are upset.

Ray: So we should be mindful of what’s really going on while being detached from the situation?
Shian: We need the Middle Path to be engaged enough with compassion to want to help, yet detached enough with wisdom when unable to help. But compassion should never be lost – always there in the background, awaiting for greater wisdom to arise, so as to be able to better help. [Disclaimer: I’ve not read the book in the picture! The way to win the blame game is not to play it.]

Related Article:

Beginning & End Dhammapada Quotes at

2 thoughts on “Being Blameless Among the Blameful

  1. Mirror mirror on the wall!
    What i c I am!
    When I am blamed..
    I am somehow responsible ..
    How i react…
    sorry ..pls..forgive me..
    there is really nothing to argue about..
    when u c no problem…

  2. Even if the cause of the blame cannot be found, it’s still a result of karma… something to take in good stride and make the best of it! Amituofo


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