Q: What is the Buddhist basis of trust?
A: The truth is, despite mustering the best of our wisdom, but because we can’t read minds, it is always a gamble to some extent when we choose to trust another unenlightened being. As such, we have to be prepared to be tricked in the first place, to avoid being bitterly disappointed later. Trust is best based on a person’s track record, though there is no guarantee that the person will stick to it. And there is the problem of coming across those whom we have no track record to refer to.
Q: When faced with someone whom you feel had taken your trust for granted before, do you choose to distrust or give benefit of the doubt?
A: I suggest a simple approach… Let the person know he or she has lost your trust before, and that you are now uncertain whether to trust the person. Let the person know the dilemma, and ask the person sincerely how he or she can show that he or she is trustworthy now. Look the person in the eye, observe the response, and decide carefully!
I think the problem is human beings are very complicated nowadays. I have seen some of the best actors and actresses in real life including children and youths. Amituofo.
People do change, including ourselves. If someone loses our trust and we think that it cannot be regained at that point in time, there is no need to have any negative feelings towards them. Just let go of them.
Practicing the Bodhisattva path means boundless love, trust and forgiveness; this is great love, great compassion and the great Bodhisattva way. The trust is that everyone has the Buddha Nature inherent in them, and we can forgive them. It should not be mistaken as agreeing to the wrong or untruth. To forgive is also to help them onto the right path. Each situation is unique with its merits/demerits. We should understand the situation correctly, the truth of the situation, and then we can have a correct response to the situation. Sometimes a correct response is a reprimand! (remember the saying; spare the rod, spoil the child). And yes, sometimes strong action is required for difficult problem. Our job is to help, that’s all.