The below are common questions that some Dharma students might have, based on hypothetical scenarios:
Q: What if a family member dislikes me attending a Dharma class?
A: You should do your best to share with them on the value of learning the Dharma.
Q: What if the person still does not seem to understand?
A: You can compromise for harmony to some extent for the time being, but the Dharma itself should never be given up. You should continue learning the Dharma in other ways and continue sharing it with the family member as much as possible, harmoniously of course, never forcibly.
Q: What I wish to raise the above in class as questions but fear embarrassing the teacher?
A: An understanding teacher will not feel embarrassed, but answer accordingly, for example, in this way.
Q: What if I fear embarrassing myself or the family member by asking the above in class?
A: A good student should not feel embarrassed for clearing doubts. If privacy is preferred, the question can be asked as a hypothetical ‘what if’ scenario.
Q: What if I feel uncomfortable attending class alone without the company of the mentioned family member?
A: Much as we prefer to learn the Dharma with family and friends, one should never give up Dharma learning due to lack of company. Also, when departing from this life, which can happen abruptly, we have to do so without the company of family and friends, but only with our Dharma (understanding and practice) and karma. Thus, the Dharma is truly important. New spiritual friends can be made in class too, who are more supportive of Dharma learning and practice.
The Buddha taught that spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life – because it is important to be in the company of like-minded spiritual friends to progress swiftly in the right direction. Spiritual friends are able to motivate one another to practise regularly as a group and exchange practice tips. (For example, a Pure Land fellowship encouraged some 24 friends to attend a 3-day Pure Land retreat together recently, and there was a very encouraging sharing session thereafter on one another’s experiences.)
Q: How can I improve a Dharma teacher’s impressions of me after some misunderstanding?
A: If the teacher is understanding, there’s no need to do anything else after apologising as he or she will not bear any grudge. If the teacher does, he or she is not magnanimous, petty, and probably not learning from? Good teachers will always welcome all to their classes with equanimity. There is no need to grieve about feeling ‘unable’ to return to class – just return when ready. The gates to the Dharma are always open. All teachers and students should strive on in learning, practice, realisation and sharing of the Dharma.
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