To Veg With Love?

lisa-simpson-vegetarianI saw a question posted on Facebook recently… about the possibility of a vegetarian or vegan coupling with someone who does not share one’s choice of diet. A few said it doesn’t matter, as love will prevail. Others commented that if they can’t see eye to eye on the matter of food (which is a matter of life or death for many beings), what about other matters? Both sides have their rationale.

I know a few couples who don’t share each other’s diet choice but are still loving as ever. I have seen couples breaking up because of it too. I have friends who would rather be single than to find someone aligned to their diet. Then, of course, I have many couple friends who are vegetarians or vegans. So, does a common diet really matter? It probably matters if it causes inconvenience for both parties.

Recently I had a chat with a friend and told him he is so lucky to have a wife who can cook. These days, such partners are getting rare. He replied that ‘yes, indeed’, adding that thank goodness they are both vegans. If not, it would be a headache during meal times. Well, they can always eat out? He agreed, but sometimes, after a day of hard work, one just wants to go home straight for a comfortable and warm meal. Besides, outside food isn’t exactly cheap nowadays, and is sometimes not very palatable. What about hiring a maid? She can cook for both? He guffawed and replied that having a maid might pose other challenges, while a good maid might not be available long.

I further asked if he would accept if his wife’s non-vegan diet, out of love. If not, wouldn’t that mean he doesn’t love her enough? Plus, Singapore is a relatively not so difficult place to find food for both vegans and non-vegan. He felt that such compromising will strain the relationship. Sooner or later, he said, they will end up eating by themselves or finding company more aligned to theirs. Meal time to him, is when they do their sharing on happenings of the day. Marrying someone with a different diet choice might work but he’s not taking chances. Furthermore, if they have kids, a new set of problem will arise. Eating does reflect a big part of character, of ideology of bigger issues out there. And if it clashes, it is perhaps symptomatic of bigger potential differences in outlook on life?

I’m certainly not here to tell others how they should choose their partners or their diet choices. I’m a vegan and personally can’t picturing myself cooking meat for anyone, or having the sight and smell of meat in my household. But some are okay with that. I guess the real answer has to be answered by yourself. After all, you are the one who is going to eat, kiss, sleep and live with your partner. My friend could have worried or thought too much? Or were they valid points? As we know, communication and acceptance are keys to healthy relationships. But still, since a vegan lifestyle is certainly a more compassionate one, why not choose to work towards it with your loved ones?